I can’t imagine leaving this place. I don’t have any money, and I hate having fights and following rules in my family apartment but I just can’t survive alone and rent a place especially since I can’t divide the bills with anyone. I’m paying the electricity bills and stuff but it’s getting harder especially without a job.
Also my family is renting the house, we don’t really own a place in this country. But that’s the reality we live.
You must log in or register to comment.
I have been living with my dad for almost five years now. I’m 50. My 12 year old niece lives with us too. It’s just so expensive out there. I live in a community of about 100 homes and a good 10% are adults living with elder parents, some with kids some without. You are not alone.
Nothing particularly wrong with this post so enjoy the discussion - but I’d warn you all not to spend too much time giving this guy your advice. He’s not here for it, he just wants to wallow, and he’ll get agro if you try to help him out.
Check out his post/comment history. It’s not worth your time.
Wish I saw this comment before I posted mine. Looks like he’s already pushing back at my comment.
Yeah he’s an odd one. Just sulks all over Lemmy but gets the shits if you suggest that maybe, just maybe - this isn’t helping his situation. I assume it’s for attention at this point.
Regular people here now know
And I promise I’m not stalking him. It’s only when I start reading comments that are unrelentingly pessimistic and dismissive of people’s suggestions that I notice his user name.
Get yourself a Lemmy app that lets you tag users. Boost does for free, I’m told some others do within their premium tier.
This person can now be tagged so I know their vibe before deciding whether or not to engage. Thanks for the heads up.
Doesn’t help to tag him because he regularly creates new accounts to evade bans
For what it’s worth, multigenerational homes are common in many cultures :)
In Costa Rica my dad’s girlfriends entire family lives in one block. You drive down this “alley” road and every house but one is that same family. I think it’s 10 houses. The non family is a close family friend. There are only two family members that don’t live there, and it’s because they work really far away, but they visit all the time.
Wholesome af
I’m Latino. I’m well aware
Maybe some of your friends would be willing to be roommates with you and spilt the bills on a place? That’s what I did when I first moved out of my parents house
I don’t have friends. And I don’t have a job anyways.
🙋♂️
Was even talking about winning the lottery with my brother the other day and said I would get a huge house we all could live in and he was like “No! I wanna live somewhere else!” So I said “Fine. I’ll get you a van and you can live in it down by the river.”
I too would absolutely love to live closer to family.
I just lost my job due to some bigger firm buying the place. I’ll honestly prefer to live at the office (I have one at uni where I’m doing an unpaid thesis) or a friend’s couch again (like I did after a breakup) than move in with family. Everyone’s family dynamic is different.
That said, you don’t need friends to find roommates. There’s websites and social media groups to find them, usually. Have you considered moving a bit further away, where there’s better job opportunities? Hope things get better for you
My partner and I moved into my parents house 2 years ago. Rent was getting too high and we were running out of options. We all get along well. Early 30s, btw.
get a job?
No luck. Trying to get a driving license to reach warehouse jobs outside the town…
Hang in there fam, I’ve lived with my family several times throughout my life and don’t regret it.
Even if you get a license, do you plan to use your parents’ car?
You could apply for a job in another town entirely, and then move there after getting the job. Kill two birds with one stone. Some employers also offer apartments for their employees. It sounds like moving a bit away could do you good. You could take the bus or something to see your family every once in a while.
If you really want to live in your hometown, you could continue jobhunting in it while employed in another town.
Bus? What bus? We only have one car and they don’t have a license either, also that’s probably a US thing. Nobody is going to offer you a place for a warehouse job here. I can’t live alone and a warehouse job usually pays only 1k X month. Nobody can pay rent plus bills and food like that alone.
I’ve never heard of a town or village that doesn’t have at least one bus that goes to the center and off to some bigger town elsewhere. What kind of town do you live in?
Also, your family owns a car that no one can drive?
Have you tried applying for social welfare?
Sure, no one is going to offer you a place for work where you live. That’s why I’m suggesting moving away from where you live. What if you moved to some place in the middle of nowhere where rent is cheap?
I live in the middle of nowhere when rent is less expensive. The car is my uncles car, he can drive but he’s buying a new one and here some immigrants drive without license probably because it’s expensive and or don’t have the documents or can’t pass the theory exam.
I’m not eligible for welfare.
Technically, my family lives with me, but I lived with family before I bought the house from my dad.
It started as a need, turned into a mutually beneficial state of being, the he fucked up, and I bought the place since we would have lost it otherwise.
Seriously, as long as everyone involved is on board with household agreements, there’s no abuse of power, and there’s open lines of communication, it’s no different than having roommates, or renting to a boarder, or having guests.
Not every family can do it, and not every family should, but it can be amazing.
Now, with that said, no way in hell would I live with my mom again lol. And if it was my sister, we’d have to expand the place so we didn’t share a kitchen (the little twat wrecks shit).
But, as long as she didn’t start her shit, my mom could live here with us. I love her, but that woman is a pain in the ass to live with when she thinks she’s owed something for being the mom. It’s a whole thing. She and my sister live together, and it’s the same thing there, she just assumes way too much.
But, yeah, even that’s something that could be negotiated around in a pinch.
Best thing I ever did, moving back home while looking for a new main job and living space. Let me take my time doing the job hunt instead of having to take the first, which meant I ended up with a much better job for the time. By the time I had a new place lined up, my dad kept telling me not to take this one or that one for reasons. Eventually, I said I’d just stay here, and he smiled.
That may not seem like much, but it is from my dad. It meant that’s what he really wanted, but didn’t think he was supposed to say lol.
Im older and (hopefully) pretty independent at this point. My brother has taken me and my wife in for two years when we needed it and he let me stay at his place for like at least 3 summers during college and like another 5 years while I was getting established in my career. My wife often says he is the person who gets what he wants if he needs it no questions asked.
Your brother: “Some day…and that day may never come…I will call upon you for a favor.”
You: “C’mon man. Stop doing the Godfather impersonations.”
Brother: “Maybe don’t check your bed.”
You: “…is there a dead horse head in my bed???”
Brother: “Of coarse not! I’m not a psychopath!..I merely drew a PICTURE of a decapitated horse head! I’m not going to murder a horse just to do a bit!”
But still…one day he may call on you for a liver transplant, or a blood infusion, or a kidney or something. And you won’t even hesitate.
Still though. He should do a Godfather bit first. Stuff some cotton balls in his mouth first.
You have a career and wife. Must be nice, I envy you.
And you should. My wife is great. The medical things suck but its better than not having her. I am lucky with my career to. I like the work well enough and it pays well enough for whats available nowadays. Im greedy though and want more. Want the better health and the society where medical concerns are not also financial concerns. I wanted a trajectory for humanity that was going up in terms of both the typical persons well being but also the well being of our planet.
Like I said, must be nice
I mean if it makes you feel any better people there are people with no family that may feel the same with your situation. Unfortunately that will not actually make your situation any better but I guess you say well it could be worse.
I am. There are upsides and downsides to it, but tbh I don’t really feel particularly compelled to move out right now. I don’t even know where I would want to go if I did.
I used to live on my own, and went back to live with my mum. I did this mostly because it was better for both sides. Splitting tasks, splitting bills, having someone to help you if shit hits the fan, or simply enjoying the company. (She doesn’t admit it, but she does love some beer and snacks.) And in her case, not getting old alone - loneliness kills old people.
My situation is quite different from yours though. I wish that I had life advice to help you out, but I don’t.
deleted by creator
Yeah same
Get a job and stop whining.
