• some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    3 months ago

    I haven’t ever paid a cent for mortgage. I’ll sell the secret for $100.

    I rent. But don’t tell sovcit, I want their money.

    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’m thinking about curing all their ailments remotely using a magnetic resonance chamber to beam cures directly into them through a bracelet I sell on a website where I also sell coon skin hats and wooden teeth. Because you know they’re the type to believe in magic.

    • LifeOfChance@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Scary part is they would read your first sentence and believe you then convince themselves the second sentence is there to ward of the government.

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    3 months ago

    Sovcit hasn’t found the right magical incantations to banish armed cops, yet.
    Keep trying, maybe use a different color of ink for your fake stamp?

    • massacre@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      it’s like arcane wizardry…

      Blue, black or red inks, and wet ink means something different. All capital letters, especially on names. Making sure to incant with the law using the correct statues (and statutes), citing the specific sections of case law. And sprinkle in a mighty, but perfect amount of phrasing like “All Rights Reserved”.

      Sometimes you are too low level at this and that lack of experience leads to imperfections and you just have to keep trying until the spell works on the right person in authority. Trust me, I got my degree from Trump University. It’s a bigly degree.

      I guess I can show you how, but I’d have to barter for fiat currency - unfortunately my car broke down and that’s the only thing my mechanic will take. He doesn’t understand Coupons (note the capital) !

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I kinda get some of the bullshit.

        Worked for my dad’s insurance company in '92. Contracts had to be signed in black ink, blue pens were banned from the office in case of accident.

        Legal terms are a complete clusterfuck to the initiated. There are some things you never say to a cop, for example, all the things. Or, I didn’t know the difference in pleading nolo contrendre and not guilty. These people think anything outside grade-school English is blood sugar sex magik.

        And then they hear words such as you wrote, “fiat currency” and the like. They see videos of people prevailing in court using certain terms and think there’s an arcane vocabulary that achieves their goals.

        I get it. But fuck me they’re stupid. I was better served paying attention in school and learning some Latin and French.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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          3 months ago

          rather than go to the tower academy they pass around moldy scrolls and try to perform rituals with crayons and Best Value garlic powder

      • Ragnarok314159
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        3 months ago

        I have a few multiphase inks, even ones with glitter. What do those mean?

      • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
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        3 months ago

        Even lawyers pretend that magical phrases are more powerful. I knew one who insisted on “in their care, custody, and/or control” instead of “has” or even “in their care”. It was telling that she also thought it was preposterous to say “in their care, and/or custody, and/or control”.

  • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    Homeless people pay no mortgage (or rent), don’t pay utilities aside from possibly a cell phone, and usually don’t have jobs or pay taxes.

    If that’s what you aspire to then don’t let your dreams just be dreams, man.