cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15223477

We need more transmasculine people (and people in general) on here. If you know a transmasculine person please get them to check this place out. Spread the word!

  • Borger@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 months ago

    Thanks. Yeah, I don’t think their comment is entirely accurate.

    If anything, at least in my case, being a “tech nerd” almost acted to validate my gender when I was a kid, and vice versa. I would have had a harder time had I been into something more traditionally feminine, because my family/other transphobes would point at it as evidence that I’m not “really” a guy.

    The original comment is probably well-intentioned, but it honestly doesn’t feel very far removed from just using “AFABs” to refer to a social group, which makes my skin crawl. I and many other trans guys’ upbringings are quite different from cis women’s.

    • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      Yeah, transfem folks get the same sort of treatment whenever “male socialization” is brought up, as though somehow trans women are still really men because they were socialized to be men.

      It’s hard to communicate generally while still being sensitive to the nuances.

      I do think some behaviors can be influenced by social and cultural factors, and while this doesn’t prove the “male socialization” myth that transphobes appeal to is right, it is still a relevant factor in other contexts.

      The cultural attitudes about gender can be like invisible walls that shape our social environment, it informs what we feel we can or can’t do, and while we all have to navigate that, its trans people who are forced to transgress those social boundaries and thus we should be familiar with them.

      I agree the comment was probably well-intended, but I also understand how anything remotely close to implying sameness between trans men and cis women is ick.