I’m going to the snow at the end of the month and have been messaging a friend I let borrow my ski clothes and equipment two years ago. They just never gave me back my stuff and I forgot about it to now. I’m a bit annoyed they just kept my things, and now my goggles are missing and I don’t remember if I let them borrow. It shouldn’t be up to me to remember and ask for my stuff back, you should give it back once you are done with it without prompt.
Another way to look at it is they were storing it for you while you weren’t using them. Some places charge for that.
yay, chair cushions are done and I can now tidy up and move onto to other tasks, like sanding and painting 🙂
I am having such a shitty fucking day. I’ve honestly never felt this bad so fast before. Just massively angry, wanting to lash out over everything.
Everything is getting worse and none of us are stopping it(I’m certainly not). My attempts to maybe improve things for myself just add more stress and inevitably fail. I feel like I’m trying to climb a styrofoam wall. I can grab at chunks to try and pull myself up, but all I’m doing is fucking up an already shitty wall.
Hugs. If you can roll yourself up somewhere in the sun I recommend it. You aren’t alone in your feelings.
I read On The Beach a few years ago after the 2020 bushfires and at the start of COVID when I was feeling particularly hopeless. Basically its a classic about an impending nuclear winter - what happens when everyone find out they have six months to live. One of the side characters just carried on tending their little garden, planting out things that they would never harvest and in all probability would never grow. But it was her job - to tend her garden and she figured no-one knew any would be next so she might as well do this thing. She was totally at peace. I think about her a lot when I am in this headspace.
There are green places to be in the sun nearish me, but too far to walk, and I don’t want to be around other people much so a tram would be a bad idea I reckon.
I had read some of it a while ago, but lost my place and never bothered to refind it. Might have to give it another look some time, because it’s a great book. I wish I had the certainty of a set date, honestly. Six months is easier to handle than “it’s a mystery”
deleted by creator
Oh crap I did not mean to delete. Fat thumb moment. Was just saying hugs and take care
Massive hugs. Climbing a styrofoam wall sounds incredibly difficult. I hope you find a moment of joy today, even if it’s tiny.
I know the feeling. Right there with you. All you can do is give em hell
Edit: Alternatively https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HjPgdhRsGIQ
Feeling any better?
Not feeling as shit this morning.
The end is nigh
Bring back bags of lollies from the milk bar… 😭
1c fizzos.
Just dropped the pets off for their kennel stays while we nip off to NZ - as soon as the staff picked up Toby, I absolutely sobbed 😭
I setup the replacement Xbox last night and am finally sitting down and giving it a crack. I have Minecraft, knockoff coke Zero from aldi, a full belly, and a comfy couch. Life is good.
nostalgia trip
In 2016 (or maybe 2017), my mum surprised me with an Xbox from my birthday. It was an Xbox 360 E, and a copy of Minecraft. That was my first time on a console, and I stayed up all night playing it. Literally all night. Probably needless to say she was less than happy I was still up when she woke up, but she just let it be. I had a lot of fun, and also had a few cans of coke over night. That’s a core memory of mine that I’ve never really been able to recreate. There was such a feeling of carelessness and peace that night, a feeling I unfortunately very rarely experienced during my youngest years.
continuation, but less of a fun memory more of a historical vent, probably more sad
That was when I was really struggling with “school refusal”, as they call it, and mum was really trying to push me to go. It was a very difficult time, and led to such a feeling of helplessness, probably for both of us. That’s probably why I enjoyed the care free feeling the games provided - a little safe haven away from the constant chaos and incessant disappointment and despair of the real world. A world where the biggest concern is placing enough torches to keep the zombies away.
Interesting. The local library was my safe haven as a kid. Or any book really. I predate xbox and electronic games so there wasn’t a huge lot of choice. Nowadays my local library makes a big deal about being ‘fun’ and ‘lively’ and ‘inclusive’ - which to kid me sounds like hell on earth. So it wouldn’t be available as a safe haven now. I suspect we all need a safe haven in our lives - and find it in a variety of places. Another very unfashionable opinion of mine is that quite a lot of illegal drug use gets its root cause in the search for a mental safe haven in a hostile universe, albeit a temporary one with a huge downside.
I used to spend a bit of time at the library too. They offered 2 hour wifi passes, where they had little pins on a receipt their staff would print for you. If you asked nicely, they’d give you 2 for a total of 4 hours of wifi. It was great for me, because we didn’t have enough money for broadband, and we were with Telstra on a 3gb for $30 plan, which never lasted long (this was during the times a lot of people were getting unlimited internet, and YouTube and Netflix were at the height of their popularities). I used to ride my scooter (with no helmet… Classic country town) down to the library every weekday I wasn’t doing anything (they were closed after 4pm and on weekends), and I’d download a bunch of YouTube videos onto an old spare phone that we had. Also some music, and occasionally I’d borrow some DVDs.
There were a few fun characters at the library. There was a lady called Margaret who worked at the library and absolutely despised kids. She acted all nice and friendly when parents were around, but as soon as pretty much anyone under the age of about 16 was alone, she would scowl at them and was just very very rude. There was also a lady who was missing a few teeth and sounded like a child (reminds me of doreen from prisoner), she used to rant at me about how useless 5 cent coins are, after she saw me paying for a late fee with a couple of 5 cent coins
100%. Any form of escapism that makes us feel like we have some freedom… It’s a strong imprint in our formative years…
I think a lot of us still chase it, be it knowingly or unknowingly.
Hope you continue creating other good memories. Might not be exactly the same, but you can get pretty close. ✨
Thanks llabsy, I appreciate it. New memories will come, although sometimes it takes a few years for them to change from neutral into good
It’s strange - why am I eager to help my friend clean her apartment but leave my own space a dump when a clean space helps me feel less cluttered mentally?
Several of my friends have the same problem as me, much easier to help others clean and tidy than do your own space. I put it down to reduced negative emotional weight (to objects, to the activity, guilt of not doing it in a timely manner, repetitiveness etc) and greater positive emotion (helping others, building social capital, satisfaction from completing tasks, maybe a sense of superiority because others needed your help) when cleaning others’ spaces rather than ones own. I just roll with it now and accept that it’s a thing
Maybe we should all just clean our friends’ spaces. Problem solved.
after helping to clean BIL’s level 4 hoard ( house was a biohazard ) i have zero motivation helping others do housework, it’s enough i do my own now
I don’t know, but I do this thing where I (usually) leave the communal areas spick and span, but leave my room in a horrendous state, so you’re not alone. I don’t enjoy cleaning at all, but it seems to be a lot easier (or at least an existing habit) to keep the lounge room and kitchen clean, even though I live by myself for the moment. More difficult to keep my room clean
Follow the feeling. Think about cleaning or do the cleaning, how do you feel?
Do the cleaning. Motivation usually follows action :)
Beautiful day. Not much to do, so reading in bed, music and games I think.
Enjoy your day everyone!
You can’t make me
join us at work
Treating myself to a cafe big breakfast because all I got at home is ramen and sardines. While ramen and sardines WAS a tempting option, having no eggs or frozen veg to add sealed the deal
I’ve discovered Mickey likes to eat spinach. So he got a little pile of it last night and he fully ate it all. May have to occasionally give him a treat of it, he always wants what we eat and it isn’t harmful 🤷♀️
Fen is fond of Bok Choy. More Twinsie stuff?
Omg they must be siblings 😂
Does yours drool when he purrs?
No, not a drooler. Likes shiny things - trying to steal nose rings at 3am
Mickster doesn’t mind my jewellery, but he loves to chew on plastic. I had to put lemon juice and the stop’n’grow (to stop chewing my nails) on my power cords lol. Also bites my monitors, phone, and laptop lol
Wood in this case. Nothing wood with corners is safe, tables, chairs, doors. The spray stuff seems to be helping. OCD meds did not!
Melbcat likes pumpkin, sweet potato, peas and broccoli. Vegies are actually really good for cats
Edit: Oh and cooked carrots!
I’ll have to try more with him, he snatched some spinach out of my hand before like a lil goblin haha
If you keep sowing a few seeds at regular intervals in a window box and pull off individual leaves you can have a steady supply of baby spinach
A long ago cat was obsessed with carrot greens. She behaved like they were triple strength catnip. So much drool and improbable spinal contortions.
🤔
Many moons ago, when Miss Seagoon was Baby Seagoon, I had a void called Mungo who loved corn on the cob. He also used to steal sips of drinks by dipping his paw into cups and glasses.
City excursion with the fam today. Got new shoes, had a good dinner and overall good vibes.
Cheers to the young couple that had a chat with us at Lids (hat shop).
May your life turn out the way you want.
Spent the arvo doing laundry at the Laundromat, got a coffee, walked down to Barkley Square to suss out dehumidifiers (no bueno, will have to order online), then saw a spontaneous rave:
Didn’t catch who it was, but she was absolutely laying down some sick beats from the back of her van 🤘
Was there breakdancing?
Hehehehehehe nahhh not that I saw, but I secretly hope someone does!
I bring fire and sticks, you bring the marshmallows.
Took forever to get going but it got there (without cheating!). Wasn’t a very big pile this year (can only do it mid winter) but still satisfying.
Nice one!
I just want to sit and stare at the glowing flames. Best hypnosis ever
Today was a really lovely, satisfying day.
mundane details
Got a friend to help me go between Richmond and the CBD looking for work shirts (one heavy duty one and a couple normal ones) to be embroidered for work. Had lunch, plenty of walking in the sun, even some genmaicha ice cream and generally a productive day… Even treated myself to a pair of lovely olive green wide pants and fluffy slippers, both at half price at muji.
The work shirts and slippers I’ve been procrastinating on to the last possible minute. I got it done with the moral support of my friend who knows the fastest way to get around Emporium and helped me look for a lunch place and parking spaces earlier.
I don’t feel nearly as exhausted as yesterday even though I was out for as long and had to do more active stuff, actually even feel a little recharged? It’s a nice feeling.
Can I just ask why the hell women’s collared shirts are so oversized now though? Seems like the only style is to wear them as overshirts, not straight up shirts. Uniqlo and Muji both i needed an XS, even the Bisley work shirt I had to get a size 8, which is unprecedented (normally 10-12). This is on top of a thermal layer…
Sure I’ve lost weight from muscle atrophy being sedentary, but my ribcage and shoulders have not changed size over the last 5 years - I hate this new style! I don’t have the body shape for it…
Vanity sizing or trends. Women’s clothing is so cooked now
I’m pretty annoyed at how it seems like clothing sizes are going all bonkers, I don’t care that I now fit a size lower by design because that means wasting more time trying to find something that fits.
Yes, wasting time and money and getting stressed out about it.
I’m just looking for basic everyday wear that fits comfortably and is machine washable. Why is that so hard?
Seasonal clothing also gets worse. I do not like the options for Summer.
I’m not tall or large enough to wear men’s clothes (maybe a jacket in s/xs will fit loosely if I can find it) and kids clothes are now covered with obnoxious designs that make the age bracket clear.
and the loose styles have really thin arms so big people can’t wear them
Beep Beep 🚚
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋A tray of scallop potatoes please
🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔🔪🔥
A serve of tasty noodles/ramen with lots of seafood please chef.
🐟🐟🦀🐙🦞🦐🦑🦪🎣🍜
Nom nom nom slurp slurp
Thank you chef!
💤
Home made Burger and string fries. Much appreciated 😊
🥩🧅🍅🥬🍯🔪🍟
