Help? Boyo has gotten a pile of fines (some before I met him) and is in a very bad doom spiral. I ca’t fix this ad he’s refusing to even query what they are. Should I just shut up and let him bankrupt himself?’ Danger words have been said.
I’m guessing it’s all too much to deal with and he’s shutting down? You can try a financial counsellor, some community centres have them free for low income earners
Edit: I don’t want to ask your area and can’t link google results on mobile but just search ‘financial counselling free victoria’.
I’m not sure what to do about him refusing to deal with it and the friction that results. I’ve had a few people coming for me for help but refusing actual assistance and it’s a very difficult situation.
You could pick one reputable number (one off the Consumer Affairs site or the Salvos) and write it on a post it. Or call them sitting with him.
But if he’s shutting down or lashing out then all you can do is remember that he’s an adult and responsible for himself. And check whether his finances affect yours.
Thanks. His prior therapy people were for different things but I believe relevant. He’s refusing to even look up the ‘offence numbers If it’s car stuff he didn’t own one then. Simple?
W$on’t try.
Oh Catfish. I’m sorry to hear this. If it was me I’d be looking straight into his eyes and saying “You need to put your big boy pants on so we can sort this out together”.
Help? Boyo has gotten a pile of fines (some before I met him) and is in a very bad doom spiral. I ca’t fix this ad he’s refusing to even query what they are. Should I just shut up and let him bankrupt himself?’ Danger words have been said.
I’m guessing it’s all too much to deal with and he’s shutting down? You can try a financial counsellor, some community centres have them free for low income earners
Edit: I don’t want to ask your area and can’t link google results on mobile but just search ‘financial counselling free victoria’.
I’m not sure what to do about him refusing to deal with it and the friction that results. I’ve had a few people coming for me for help but refusing actual assistance and it’s a very difficult situation.
You could pick one reputable number (one off the Consumer Affairs site or the Salvos) and write it on a post it. Or call them sitting with him.
But if he’s shutting down or lashing out then all you can do is remember that he’s an adult and responsible for himself. And check whether his finances affect yours.
Thanks. His prior therapy people were for different things but I believe relevant. He’s refusing to even look up the ‘offence numbers If it’s car stuff he didn’t own one then. Simple? W$on’t try.
Yeah I get the avoidance. But it does make it really tricky
Edit: there’s resources
https://www.legalaid.vic.gov.au/fines-and-infringements
https://www.legalaid.vic.gov.au/other-support-fines-and-infringements
https://vic.finefixer.org.au/results/
But if he’s unwilling to engage or can’t cope then there’s not much you can do but back off to protect yourself from his reactions.
Oh Catfish. I’m sorry to hear this. If it was me I’d be looking straight into his eyes and saying “You need to put your big boy pants on so we can sort this out together”.
I do hope you find a solution ♥
Thanks. That approachused to wrk now not so much.
Tbh I’d be going more brutal. If he’s not prepared to work it out he’s gonna sink the both of you and you don’t deserve that. I’m so sorry.
No linked accounts. But yeah…