Original by u/Oncefa2 on Reddit. Still very relevant today:
This is something I noticed in a thread where men were asked what it meant to them to be a man.
There was only one response, which could probably be summed up as, “meh”.
And I honestly think this is how a lot of men feel.
You are yourself first, but also you’re a man, if you’ll even admit to it.
Women on the other hand seem to be proud of their gender and actively celebrate their womanhood. You see this in popular media and on places liked Twitter. And it even shows up in psychological association tests. Women are associated with traits like “good” and “valuable” whereas men are associated with traits like “bad” and “worthless”.
Men are never told that they can be proud of who they are. And many are made to apologize just for being alive. Instead of celebrating men, we attack and demonize them on a daily basis. And I think this difference in treatment and identity has an overall negative effect on their mental health.
Society thinks we are useless, and it is time for a change!
Men often define themselves and what it means to be a mean in negative terms.
Even when you try to frame it positively, being a man is less about being that good thing and more about calling something else bad, and trying to force people not to engage in that thing or risk their manhood.
For example, there were times when men were secretaries, nurses, teachers, etc. by a vast majority. In each field, as soon as a critical threshold of women entered that work space…men fled the field.
I agree that something needs to change, but it isn’t going to happen by trying to increase pride or whatever. It’s going to be slow incremental efforts amongst multiple men to undermine the voice in their head telling them they’re weak or feminine or whatever for engaging in normal human behavior.