Original by u/Oncefa2 on Reddit. Still very relevant today:
This is something I noticed in a thread where men were asked what it meant to them to be a man.
There was only one response, which could probably be summed up as, “meh”.
And I honestly think this is how a lot of men feel.
You are yourself first, but also you’re a man, if you’ll even admit to it.
Women on the other hand seem to be proud of their gender and actively celebrate their womanhood. You see this in popular media and on places liked Twitter. And it even shows up in psychological association tests. Women are associated with traits like “good” and “valuable” whereas men are associated with traits like “bad” and “worthless”.
Men are never told that they can be proud of who they are. And many are made to apologize just for being alive. Instead of celebrating men, we attack and demonize them on a daily basis. And I think this difference in treatment and identity has an overall negative effect on their mental health.
Society thinks we are useless, and it is time for a change!
I notice a lot of vague/personal language being used. “Men”, which men? “Society”, which one? “We”, who is we? So I can only give vague responses.
I rarely use my gender to identify myself, but when asked I say I am a man. Proudly.
I understand why some men/boys would feel shame, my own shame came from my failure to treat others fairly/respectfully.
I don’t experience that shame anymore now, back then at that stage in my life I was guided by men who had my best interest in mind, but cared little about the values I deemed important.
And now I believe that if you behave in a way that is in accord of your own values, you should have no shame.