I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!
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When I didn’t see The Onion as the source, it just wouldn’t compute for a minute. I did a double-take.
I pictured his bowels flying out of his nose and mouth. Makes sense what happened to the poor guy.
Same. Popping open an incision is somehow a relief compared to what I was picturing.
Honestly, a part of me was a bit disappointed that’s not what it was. I was so invested and curious to learn why that could even happen, only to find it didn’t.
Glad he’s ok-ish, though.
Yeah. I don’t want to say I’m disappointed, because that would suck even more for the guy, but I will say I’m a little underwhelmed.
Also, what’s with that insane autoplay video in the article using stock video footage to tell the story? Have we sunk so low?
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Nope, I can’t hear you plugs ears
I’m just a bit too squeamish for the details
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Hate when that happens
Basically doctors fucked up and removed staples too soon. They did this to my ex after our second son was born. Took the staples out and she almost died from sepsis.
The headline makes it sound way worse than what happened. Dude is fine, just reopened a surgical wound with some bulging.
I just had surgery a few weeks ago that included robot arms going into my tummy. A few days ago I sneezed for the first time since and immediately screamed in pain. Sneezes are weirdly hard on the body it seems
They are nasal orgasms so it checks out
new phobia unlocked!
Always on the lookout for new irrational fears!
“I also propose that we put a warning on all horseradish that clearly states that if you ingest an entire bottle, that you will blow out your sphincter. Also, if anyone knows anyone that recently died with an intact size 3 sphincter, please contact me as I am currently very low on the waiting list for a donor.”
- Stan Smith
Stan Smith? The tennis guy/sneaker icon?
That might be the most Florida Man article I have ever seen. Bravo.
…new fear unlocked.
… not the onion?
