• OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    Having realistic fears around dealing with men does not mean I hate them.

    What are you even trying to cope about? Do you identify with the subgroup of men who are dangerous or are you just upset that women aren’t mindreaders so they are cautious around men, and taking it out on women and not the dangerous men who have created the climate of fear and uncertainty?

    • terminally_offline@infosec.pub
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      7 months ago

      I’m gay, I’m literally part of the group of men who would never be dangerous to a woman. Yet all I hear is all women are scared of the group I belong to (being a man) even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it. Then when I defend myself by bringing up how the math doesn’t check out suddenly I “don’t get it”.

      It’s infuriating.

      Don’t get me wrong, you’re totally allowed to have fears. But punishing the majority for the mistakes of a minority is literally a war crime. I should be allowed to defend myself as well without backlash.

      • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
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        7 months ago

        I’m gay, I’m literally part of the group of men who would never be dangerous to a woman.

        Oh buddy. Gay men can be real shitheads to women(I’ve literally been assaulted by a gay man as an incredibly shitty joke, also see: “I can’t be misogynistic, I’m gay!”), and also we can’t tell if someone is gay or bi.

        Don’t get me wrong, you’re totally allowed to have fears. But punishing the majority for the mistakes of a minority is literally a war crime

        You’re equating people being cautious around you to a punishment.

        Also the permissive attitude of the majority of men is what allows a minority to abuse women.

        • terminally_offline@infosec.pub
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          7 months ago

          You’re once again equating me to the worst men you know. Simply because I defend myself from an undeserved insult for being a man. I can’t tell anyone’s orientation either, but what I know is that there is a close to 0 chance of SA from someone who’s not interested in your gender, which is the main “bear” argument.

          And of course I’m equating being ostracized and beleaguered by women in general to a punishment, who wouldn’t? Should I stop caring just because I’m not interested in them romantically? No, it fucking sucks to be told along the lines of: you’re part of this group which you have no control over, and thus you deserve all the shit we say online about you, oh but don’t worry it’s not applicable to you specifically, we’d just still pick a bear over your kind, is all.

          It’s also permissive to say I can’t complain about you all picking bear and insinuating we’re all equally as bad as the worst out there.

          • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
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            7 months ago

            You’re once again equating me to the worst men you know. Simply because I defend myself from an undeserved insult for being a man. I can’t tell anyone’s orientation either, but what I know is that there is a close to 0 chance of SA from someone who’s not interested in your gender, which is the main “bear” argument.

            The bear argument is about a random man lol. Why do you think it is about you personally?

            And of course I’m equating being ostracized and beleaguered by women in general to a punishment, who wouldn’t?

            Being cautious around someone is not the same as ostracizing someone.

            I’m not interested in them romantically? No, it fucking sucks to be told along the lines of: you’re part of this group which you have no control over, and thus you deserve all the shit we say online about you, oh but don’t worry it’s not applicable to you specifically, we’d just still pick a bear over your kind, is all.

            It straight up isn’t about you specifically though, except you’re the type to freak out about it so maybe it is about you. I certainly wouldn’t be willing to have this conversation with you in person, you’re acting aggrieved about women expressing their feelings. Seriously, why don’t you just scream at women to stop feeling the way they feel about men some more, I’m sure that will help things.

            It’s also permissive to say I can’t complain about you all picking bear and insinuating we’re all equally as bad as the worst out there.

            Permissive of what though? Because I was complaining about men creating a permissive culture around disrespecting and mistreating women.

            • terminally_offline@infosec.pub
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              7 months ago

              We’re literally having this conversation because you just can’t accept that not all men deserve to be placed in your generalisation that men = bad. So when you say I “think it is about me personally”, why not stop generalising then? That’ll solve the issue. Say you pick the bear because of the bad ones out there, and not because no man is trustworthy. That will at least clarify that it’s an argument from emotions and not logic, since if you try to break it down statistically this stops making rational sense.

              Everything I asked, since my first comment, was to stop generalising. Why is this so offensive to you that you had to go this far? And for what? You’re basically proving my point that you’re only listening to yourself and have no empathy for the 9/10 other innocent guys you lump together with your generalising.

              • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
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                7 months ago

                We’re literally having this conversation because you just can’t accept that not all men deserve to be placed in your generalisation that men = bad.

                We are literally having this conversation because you’re hyperdefensive and equate women being cautious of and scared of men with them thinking men are bad.

                I’m guessing you’d be scared of a bear, do you think bears are evil? Do you hate bears?

                Say you pick the bear because of the bad ones out there, and not because no man is trustworthy.

                Literally no one is saying that, you’re shadowboxing.

                That will at least clarify that it’s an argument from emotions and not logic, since if you try to break it down statistically this stops making rational sense.

                It literally is from logic that you refuse to understand.

                Everything I asked, since my first comment, was to stop generalising. Why is this so offensive to you that you had to go this far?

                You still don’t get that the issue is that you’re claiming it is generalization when the issue is that women aren’t fucking mindreaders and men often conceal their motives and blend in with more benign men. You have to be cautious around men because you don’t know what you’re getting.

                You’re basically proving my point that you’re only listening to yourself and have no empathy for the 9/10 other innocent guys you lump together with your generalising.

                Oh, no, I bet it has to be really hard being viewed with distrust because men as a whole behave badly. The problem is that that feeling doesn’t permit you to tell women that they should stop being cautious and that their fears are unreasonable.