I wanna say that most people can’t even begin to comprehend the sheer genius that is Governor Chris MOTHER FUCKIN Christopher Christie.

I mean, seriously, have you seen the state of the world lately?

It’s a goddamn circus, and you’re all just sitting around clapping like seals waiting for your next fix of fake news and participation trophies.

Wake the fuck up, people!

You think I got where I am today by being nice and playing by the rules?

Hell no!

I fought tooth and nail for every scrap of power I’ve got, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let a bunch of whiny-ass crybabies take it away from me.

So yeah, that’s what I really want to say right now.

Now, are you gonna print that or do I need to come over there and shove it down your throat myself?