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I was having an actual panic attack thinking about death earlier and I thought going on wikipedia would make me feel better… it did not

  • AnalogyAddict@lemmy.worldEnglish
    12·
    6 months ago

    I think animals have a better grasp on death than we do.

    I bought my first dog at 5 years old. He came with neuropathy in his hind legs that slowly progressed. I’d have to counterbalance him when he pooed so he wouldn’t sink down into it. He had to wear shoes so he wouldn’t wear his nails down to bleeding stumps. He was prescribed meds, but they only helped him with any pain.

    One November it snowed early, and on our walk he went down twice. The second time I almost wasn’t able to get him up. I returned home, sobbing, and I told him that I didn’t know what to do. That if he stopped eating, I’d know it was time. (He was always a big eater.)

    I brought him his breakfast, and he just looked at me like, “we had a deal,” and refused to eat.

    I had to pick him up out of the car, and we petted him until he passed. I still feel guilty as if I should have been able to do more. But I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. He knew it was time, and he accepted it. His only concern was trying to help me be okay.

    Intelligence might be largely a human thing. But we have a lot to learn about wisdom.

  • idiomaddict@feddit.deEnglish
    7·
    6 months ago

    I don’t know if you still want help or if this will work, but I’m always calmed by the inevitability of death. It’s the one thing that’s definitely supposed to happen.

    • kaitco@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      6 months ago

      It’s not the fact that it’s going to happen that troubles me, but the how.

      Car accident? Fall down the stairs and snap my neck? Some guys break into my house and rape me before slitting my throat? Sleep apnea doesn’t end in me suddenly waking?

      There are millions of possibilities. And then, my brain has to grapple with the lack of existence. How does kaitco simply stop existing? I spent some 13 billion years not existing and then I’m here, but then I’m not?

      Anywhoozle…I’m gonna go play video games for a couple hours.

      • idiomaddict@feddit.deEnglish
        2·
        6 months ago

        Sorry. Do you know any really old, happy people well enough to talk to them about death? In my experience they’ve got a perspective that’s reassuring, but it does go in the same direction: you get to finally rest, etc.

        • JohnEdwaEnglish
          4·
          6 months ago

          I have my 84 year old grandparents, one of which has cancer, both are terrified, and the only positive notion is “At least I don’t have to suffer any more.”

  • kalkulat@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    6 months ago

    Another single basic mechanism (for some in the world, anyway) is: acceptance.

    Not saying you have to like death. But it’s all around us, and people who live closer to nature get to see death regularly, from carnivorous animals (little choice) to plants which green, bear fruit, and fade away in fall. Most people don’t ever need to embrace death, but recognize it’s part of the natural order.

    Denial points us away from the real and is mentally unhealthy. Acceptance releases us from that potential fear and stress. It also encourages us to truly appreciate what we have, especially while we have it, and ever afterward for our good fortune while we had it. Life is change.

    Acceptance reminds us to ‘drink life to the lees’, like Omar Khayyam. Not to waste our time on adverts, or fashion trends, or fretting about things we can’t do anything about, or worrying about what might be. When we’re sure we’ve done our best in this wiggy world, we need ask ourselves no more. Compassion for ourselves empowers us to share that with others.