Maybe the centipede that took up residence in my ear canal, or the narrowly survived rattlesnake bite?

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I don’t know if it’s the kind of story shared on that show, but I once had to be wheeled into an ER with hypothermia on a warm day (dry, properly clothed, etc).

Having worked on ze ambulance when I was younger, here are a few favorites:

The guy who lit his wheelchair on fire and rode it across his house to unlock the front door.

The navy boxer who came up swinging after being cardioverted.

The two teen brothers that tried stabbing each other to death over how to divide up some puppies.

The woman who stabbed her boyfriend 15 times (including one in the scrotum) for refusing to take her to the movies the night before.

The woman being arrested who offered us all the money in her purse (probably close to $30) to “wreck the ambulance so she could escape in the confusion.”

While I can obviously guess what kind of stories it has, I’ve never heard of Untold Stories of the ER. Where is this shown? Sounds ripe for entertainment.

When I was 6, I was in a boating accident.

My family and I were waterskiing and camping off this little island on the lake. We did it all the time, since my uncle had a speedboat.

My mom was about to take her turn, and I was sitting in the boat behind my uncles seat, facing the back to watch her ski. When my uncle tried to start the boat, it faltered. Made a rut-rut-rut noise but wouldn’t start. After try three or four, I smelled something awful, and pinched my nose. The last thing I remember is my mom asking me if I smelled something bad, and I nodded.

The engine exploded into a ball of fire and engulfed me.

The next thing I know, I’m under water and bobbing to the surface (wear your life-vests, kids). My mom is screaming and my cousin is swimming to me and drags me to shore. My uncle (just outside the blast radius) had reached into the fire to grab me and thrown me into the water.

I was… calm. I felt nothing. We had to hail a passing boat to take us off the island to get to a hospital. I remember my mom asking me if I hurt, and shaking my head.

If i looked at my arms and legs and saw what I looked like at that point, I can’t remember at all, but I was covered in third-degree burns. I was in the hospital for a while, and then was in a wheelchair for a bit while my legs were wrapped. I had to have water therapy for my burns. I do remember the oblong, black boils that developed over my burns in the months that followed. For a long period of time, I couldn’t be in the sun, and had to wear a bonnet when I went to school.

My skin healed beautifully though. I’ve only got one long-lasting scar from it on my shoulder. The doctor said that my uncle throwing me into the cold lake water is what most-likely saved my skin from being permanently damaged. I’m sure being 6 years old helped immensely, too.

Don’t know if this is fitting, but I was once on our downstairs toilet which had a sink in front of it.

I sneezed and my head bolted forward and I knocked off half my tooth.

Don’t know if this type of thing counts, but I know that when either my brother or I was born one nurse wouldn’t let my mom see whichever one of us it was unless she could walk a certain distance that was a technically unsafe thing for her to do in her state. She did. Eventually a doctor did come by and told her that what the nurse did was totally wrong and unacceptable. Don’t remember the full story, but man moms can be such badasses.

I’ve dislocated my shoulder fourteen times; as a result, when I broke my ankle, I just thought it was dislocated as well. I twisted it back into place and tried to stand up on it … Twice … Before my neighbor heard me and gave me the sage advice to stop doing that.