• StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zone
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    6 months ago
    le vent/le thoughts

    Ugh, I need to socialise with friends more. There’s a meetup at a pub on Friday that my partners mates are going to and have invited us (and others). Partners ex-coworkers from an old job, have hung out with them heaps over the years.

    I just want to hide away forever, like the longer I go without seeing mates the less I actually want to. Which is bad for my mental health, bc I usually justify it with self-destructive thoughts (like “you’re not that funny or smart”, “you’re jobless so what’s there to talk about?”, “they just pretend to like you because they like [partner]”, etc). Which is not healthy.

    Wish I was socialised more as a kid, honestly, some of this I can tell is because I didn’t have friends when I was a youngun

    Of course this is all dependent on whether we’re negative come Friday arvo, but I already feel dread and am wrestling with myself about this.

    • melbaboutown@aussie.zone
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      6 months ago

      This is highly dependent on transport/partner also being willing to leave (and I know how hard it can be for adults to get together). But is it possible to go for just an hour or two and then leave?

      • StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zone
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        6 months ago

        I have also done this before lol, this is definitely an option as where I am and where the pub is, is very much serviced by a lot of PTV.

      • StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zone
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        6 months ago

        True true! I have done that before and had a lovely time each time.

        I think it’s just, like, the depression. The simple chores, the simple self-care, the simple socialisation, is difficult to start but easy once I’m actually doing it.

        I’m like an old lawn mower that required a good amount of arm strength and willpower to keep pulling the cord and pushing the machine at the same time to start, but once started, I’m revved up

      • StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zone
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        6 months ago

        Hello, I have neglected you. This shall be amended in the coming weeks 💜

        If partner and I are well, you are welcome to join us at the pub too this Friday arvo of course :)