Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.

  • plactagonic
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    10 months ago

    I recently moved out after 1 year as NEET. I worked and payed rent to my father (nothing much).

    I know lots of people who live in multi generational house - usually divided in few units.

    My parents took it little bit like a shock - I told them that about week before I moved out and my brother moved at the same time and told them at the same time.

    My parents set up our house to be multi generational and knew well that only hope for us to get home is to wait for our grandparents to die (I know but it is what it is).

    If I and my brother didn’t get work that far away we would live with them now. So I think it isn’t bad thing to live with your parents.