“I see so many men saying feminism is bad. Please tell me which of my rights I don’t deserve as a woman. I’m curious.”

If they were genuinely curious and wanted to know an answer to that question, then why would they post it in a community where men couldn’t respond? That seems disingenuous.

Why not go to 4chan or xitter and ask the men there why they don’t like feminism? Cause I assume that’s where they’re seeing all these “men saying feminism is bad.”

But generalizing it as all or most men doing this and then posting it somewhere only women can comment, just seems like they’re looking for a circlejerk/echo chamber where everyone will reaffirm their biases/assumptions.

Let’s also not pretend that every self-proclaimed “feminist” is solely concerned with her own rights. Lots of people on the internet call themselves feminists without really understanding a thing about feminism. You could more accurately call them “pseudo-feminists.” The “man-hating feminist” stereotype comes from somewhere, and the error is in calling them “feminists,” not in saying that they hate men.

If they’re reinforcing toxic masculinity culture, and instead of dismantling systems of oppression they make it their goal to participate in those structures as the oppressor, then they’re not feminists. But a lot of women do this while calling themselves feminists.

So I think a lot of the hate and criticism directed towards “feminism” is really directed towards pseudo-feminism, and people don’t understand the difference because how likely is someone to read bell hooks or carol gilligan when it seems like all the so-called “feminists” on social media are repeating stuff like “gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss” (which is literally just women participating in patriarchy, not dismantling it).

I mean if you don’t want people confusing feminism with pseudo-feminism, that’s fine and understandable. But you can’t really pretend all of the criticism directed at pseudo-feminism under the guise of feminism is exclusively geared towards removing women’s rights. By understanding the problem, you can begin to address it. So police your own, and call people out when they’re promoting pseudo-feminism and calling it “feminism.”

A good indicator, is that if someone is telling men that their feelings don’t matter, then they’re not really a feminist.