Important to note: I have OCD, and I seem to have this obsession with the idea of me being transphobic. I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I have known this for years, and I try my best to support everyone. I have a lot of trans friends, I love them a lot, and treat them and see them as I would anyone else.

So, I feel like I’m transphobic. Is there any evidence of this? No. I’ve been a vocal supporter about LGBTQ+ rights for years (online), including trans rights, but I’ve recently become increasingly anxious at the thought of me being transphobic.

This likely stems from my questioning of my own gender, often times I feel that I am not quite male, maybe that I’m nonbinary or genderfluid. I mentioned this to my nonbinary friend, and they said “you don’t seem nonbinary”. This sent me spiraling, questioning my own gender and identity, and questioning if I was transphobic for believing that I was nonbinary (or possibly genderfluid, as at times I feel very comfortable being male, but at others I feel a lot more feminine).

At some point, I have to accept the fact that this is delusion, but I still really feel like I need guidance/assurance. I do not really know what to do about this.

(ANOTHER WORRY I HAVE is acting so paranoid and making it seem like I think trans people are going to cancel me and ruin my life if I say anything wrong, like a lot of transphobic people claim and act like. This is NOT AT ALL my intention, but I know I probably come off that way.)

  • webghost0101
    8·
    15 hours ago

    I have a few notes,

    What does a non binary person look like exactly, i really would’t know and i identify as non binary in most contexts.

    In most contexts because there is genderfluid, i realised i had no use for gender online first, so i just discarded it, then i extended that logic to the rest of my life where it made no sense to express one gender. But i am also married and a parent, in that role specifically i do have a more binary gender.

    It is also incredibly freeing to stop rejecting myself from doing/enjoying things simply because society says my biological sex shouldn’t.

    Lastly, did you know that historically neurodivergent people have been strong allies with the lgbtq+ community? Neurodivergent means being wired in a less typical way, and naturally that can also affect your gender experience. Autists (often) question arbitrary social norms, OCD is a form of neurodivergence.

    • RadioactiveShark@piefed.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      3·
      9 hours ago

      I did know that last part, I myself have a lot of neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ friends.

      I cannot really express my gender in real life, but online my friend had seen photos of me (in which I dress very plainly and masculinity) and has heard my voice. I never expressed to them that I ever was uncomfortable with being fully male.

      • webghost0101
        2·
        8 hours ago

        You never expressed discomfort appearing as male while interacting with other males because as fluid person you may be fully comfortable with that, or you are not yet comfortable expressing anything different to your peers.

        Your friend sound confused that just because your don’t express similar to their gender they believe you are something else but both of you are unique individuals with unique gender experiences.