I’m going to be an apologist for conservatives for a sec, just for the sake of giving out my theory of mind of these people.
I think this all happens mostly due to the stress trans people are inadvertently causing their parents. When your kid comes out of the closet, this will happen to a parent regardless of how liberal-minded they are. Even if you have no problem with the concept, your kid being trans brings about new kinds of threat scenarios you never had to think about before. If you’re a sensible, smart and handsome person like I truly fucking am, you can process it in a few years and come out as not being a 100% asshole towards the issue.
But if your reference group is republican church goers, there’s a high probability that such a person just simply does not have the mental or social toolset to process it in any sensible way. They will construct a toxic viewpoint for this issue, strengthen it from outside sources and then start to spread that toxicity.
I think this all happens mostly due to the stress trans people are inadvertently causing their parents. When your kid comes out of the closet, this will happen to a parent regardless of how liberal-minded they are. Even if you have no problem with the concept, your kid being trans brings about new kinds of threat scenarios you never had to think about before. If you’re a sensible, smart and handsome person like I truly fucking am, you can process it in a few years and come out as not being a 100% asshole towards the issue.
I feel like it’s more the opposite problem. For the parents, trans people are a vague boogeyman. They’ve never meant a trans person personally, and they’re constantly told that trans people are just waiting to jump them in the bathroom, or at sports, or all sorts of other things, so they’ve never had to contend with someone they know being trans.
If it was simply stress or threat to the kid, it wouldn’t really explain the reaction to disowning them, since most of those aren’t about the treatment that their kids would receive for being trans.
Yeah my mom talked to me about her mixed feelings when I came out. On one hand she saw I was no longer miserable and was extremely happy about that, but on the other hand she was terrified. I lucked out, she’d gotten involved as an ally to the trans community before I came out to her (and I believe she was actually surprised when I did), but yeah she was very scared for me.
Funny enough one of my first thoughts after realizing I was trans was “fuck my life isn’t going to be easy”, so at least the concern for my safety was something we shared lol
I think you’re close to the root of it. The need for a biological legacy is strong no matter any affiliations. Having “non-conforming” children threatens that legacy.
For the groups that inflate this drive, that’s all there is. That’s the only purpose. No “we as a species”.
For the rest of us it might be a little disappointing at the prospect of no grandchildren. But we know that it’s ultimately not our decision. And the same outcome could happen regardless of any “conformity”.
Yeah, I did certainly want to be able to do something that would’ve made my child not trans, but I couldn’t figure any way to do that so there was just nothing to even try. Also in the same vein on several occasions I wondered whether I had caused this by some action or inaction which is just pointless rumination.
Some of the more delusional churchgoers think they can change these things because they think they have a wizard on their side.
I’m going to be an apologist for conservatives for a sec, just for the sake of giving out my theory of mind of these people.
I think this all happens mostly due to the stress trans people are inadvertently causing their parents. When your kid comes out of the closet, this will happen to a parent regardless of how liberal-minded they are. Even if you have no problem with the concept, your kid being trans brings about new kinds of threat scenarios you never had to think about before. If you’re a sensible, smart and handsome person like I truly fucking am, you can process it in a few years and come out as not being a 100% asshole towards the issue.
But if your reference group is republican church goers, there’s a high probability that such a person just simply does not have the mental or social toolset to process it in any sensible way. They will construct a toxic viewpoint for this issue, strengthen it from outside sources and then start to spread that toxicity.
I feel like it’s more the opposite problem. For the parents, trans people are a vague boogeyman. They’ve never meant a trans person personally, and they’re constantly told that trans people are just waiting to jump them in the bathroom, or at sports, or all sorts of other things, so they’ve never had to contend with someone they know being trans.
If it was simply stress or threat to the kid, it wouldn’t really explain the reaction to disowning them, since most of those aren’t about the treatment that their kids would receive for being trans.
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Yeah my mom talked to me about her mixed feelings when I came out. On one hand she saw I was no longer miserable and was extremely happy about that, but on the other hand she was terrified. I lucked out, she’d gotten involved as an ally to the trans community before I came out to her (and I believe she was actually surprised when I did), but yeah she was very scared for me.
Funny enough one of my first thoughts after realizing I was trans was “fuck my life isn’t going to be easy”, so at least the concern for my safety was something we shared lol
If my kid was trans, the only stress it would cause is thinking about how much medical bills we might have.
But I don’t have expectations for my kids that I’m imposing on them, so maybe I have less to process.
I think you’re close to the root of it. The need for a biological legacy is strong no matter any affiliations. Having “non-conforming” children threatens that legacy.
For the groups that inflate this drive, that’s all there is. That’s the only purpose. No “we as a species”.
For the rest of us it might be a little disappointing at the prospect of no grandchildren. But we know that it’s ultimately not our decision. And the same outcome could happen regardless of any “conformity”.
Yeah, I did certainly want to be able to do something that would’ve made my child not trans, but I couldn’t figure any way to do that so there was just nothing to even try. Also in the same vein on several occasions I wondered whether I had caused this by some action or inaction which is just pointless rumination.
Some of the more delusional churchgoers think they can change these things because they think they have a wizard on their side.