The speak-button looks like a farting stick-figure.

Can someone create (or does it already exist?) an app that plays the videos in the background, remove the ads and then let you playback the whole video ad-free? Sort of like you did back in the VHS-days…

Uneven spacing to compensate for the weight difference?

This should be illegal. We legislation that force repairability and open repair methods (anti-drm).