Reminds me of a quote from Small Gods (1992) about an eagle that drops vulnerable tortoises to break their shell open:

But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection. One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

Isn’t the potato a New World crop?

Keeps the poors out. — Cave Johnson, probably

See https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrustPassword

Oligarchs passing a 10 quadrillion coin to one another like a hot potato.

At least you probably learned how to tie a square knot.

“Now, excuse me while I take a call from the real estate management company which I have renting out my twenty-one rental properties to fund my next trip to Las Vegas.”

I really hope they instituted democratic elections or at least established a clear line of succession because the power vacuum caused by the sudden disappearance of the entire top level of revolutionary leaders is bad news for everyone hoping for a peaceful couple of decades.

I don’t get why people buy these water fountains when the whole point of running water is that it’s freshly produced from a faucet then flushed down a drain. To run it in a circle is the same as leaving it to sit stagnant in a bowl except with extra dust collected from the air. Rig up a constantly dripping faucet and maybe your cat’s kidneys will stop failing after a few years.

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Imagine growing up to find out that your parents never paid a dime to help your aunts and uncles whose donations you were raised on.

Chuck Norris? Nope. Chuck Testa.

5̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶v̶e̶r̶s̶u̶s̶ ̶1̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶

5 slave owners versus 1 slave

Gladiators are paid to fight, not to polemicize. — Roman Football League, probably

Enemy is vulnerable to ice? Bulk ice cube vending machine. Enemy vulnerable to fire? Gasoline pump. Enemy has a blind spot above them? Party balloon vending machine. Enemy vulnerable to being crushed by 20 ton bulk ice cube vending machine that just transformed from floating party balloon bending machine mid-air?

If you can choose the 1000, that’s Death Note Season 2.

Most dogs have servile idiot personalities. This makes me suspicious of anyone who says they are a “dog person”. It’s not a great accomplishment to be loved by a creature literally bred to love their master unconditionally.

“Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.” — Mort (1987) by Terry Pratchett

56kbps modem noises

Yeah, I can see Aceh, Indonesia’s fully Sharia law province blocking Grok or anything culturally disruptive, especially if it’s just a matter of filtering out traffic from a handful of IP addresses.