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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • Oof, sorry you’re having such a rough time right now. I wouldn’t feel too bad about the woman you had to leave behind though. Because relationships are a two-way street and she has to put some effort in too. If she didn’t fight for you or try to figure out a way to make it work for you both, then she wasn’t prioritizing the relationship anyway. As an example, my partner and I lived at least 1000 miles from anyone we knew and we had no support system. When my partner, who was the breadwinner at the time, lost her job, we together found a new solution. Yes, it meant picking up and moving across the country again in less than a year, but the alternative was homelessness. Never once was our relationship on the line, even if our housing was. There’s someone out there who thinks being apart from you is the worst life choice ever, so don’t miss her by being sad about the ones who aren’t her.


  • The only way to not repeat this is to learn from it. I’m a big proponent of “attract, don’t chase.” When you are the absolute best version of yourself, happily doing your own thing and living your best life, people find that attractive. Try to volunteer or go to hobby events/shops, you’re going to find people who like what you like and try to find a relationship that is a positive feedback loop. I think you should want to do everything in your power to make your partner happy because their happiness brings you joy and your partner should feel the same about you. Boost each other until you both reach your goals.


  • I agree with you, I think Shaxs can do better. But I also think that maybe Shaxs used to be like Dr. T’Ana and feels some empathy for her. I’ll admit I was a bit kooky before I met my spouse, she recognized that my lashing out was a product of my environment and life experience and offered me a different perspective. She only knew that because she used to lash out for the same reasons and did many years of therapeutic work to get her back on track. So when she saw me hurting in the same ways, she offered me the roadmap she used and I’m a lot better for it. Maybe Shaxs feels this same way about Dr. T’Ana. He sees she’s struggling and indulges her because he loves her, but is also slowly chipping away at the hurt that they share.