I want to learn your secret walking techniques capable of destroying entire anthills with every step.

Just according to keikaku

I know pretty much zero russian, but I choose to read that the first bit of bold text there reads “Bacon”.

…so, it checks out as a suicide manual. Death by bacon is pretty slow, though.

The annoying part is that there is no well-known notation for showing percentage points, so people use % for both percentages and percentage points.

Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor’s kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh, finding keepeth or afar casteth a Silmaril. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day’s ending, woe unto world’s end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed failethBe he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor’s kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh, finding keepeth or afar casteth a Silmaril. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day’s ending, woe unto world’s end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed faileth. On the holy mountain hear in witness and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda! On the holy mountain hear in witness and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda!

And if not that, the RIAA missiles will intercept them mid-flight and then send a cease-and-desist missile back to the source.

Needs a photo where the satellite is tilted a bit towards the west, and you see Valinor just chilling in space out of reach for normal transport.

Snake rockmineral oil.

Oh come on that’s just nonsense. Let’s stick to real science here please.

All you need to do is make sure that the area has been sweeped by chronotron particles filtered through a multiphasic tachyon diffractor.

Holy shit. I just realised that the reason they’re building the ELT is so they can mount it on a missile and shoot down an F-35 at some point.

The best part about this is that it implies pooping makes a “pmooht” sound.

…which sounds pretty accurate tbh

Look at all the stuff in your house. That’s not minimalist at all! You need to throw it all away, and instead buy iMinimalTable, for only $499.

Then buy iMinimalTable 2 next year.

For bonus points shoot it into deep space. Maybe some alien civilization will run into it trillions of years from now.

I, too, am addicted to hemoglobin.

Hate to be a spoilsport, but that specific article does seem to be available from Nature without a paywall: https://www.nature.com/articles/356739a0.pdf

Still funny/sad, though.

Why do the tops of those trees look like people?

Sometimes I look at the wide open sky and think “What if gravity suddenly reverses and I fall up into the sky and then space? That would be really dangerous.”

I’m mildly scared of railings overlooking lower floors and such, thinking “I would get seriously injured if I somehow accidentally lean over this railing so much that I flip over to the other side and fall down.”

1 to Sauron, 3 to the elves, 7 to dwarves, 9 to humans.

3+7 = 9+1

Sauron shipped a himself and a bunch of humans with elves and dwarves.

I used to use one of these in the late 90s. I think it was called Filezilla (Downzilla? I forget; something zilla anyhow) or something, and it made dinosaur sounds when queuing up downloads.