I am entirely convinced that if every billionaire motherfucker drops dead this very second there will be peace on earth tomorrow.

No shit. Got a weird pain in you elbow? Youve got brain cancer buddy!

TIL that ‘thwuck’ is the sound you hear when muscles spontaneously explode out of your flabby body.

Man this comment section is a dumpster fire

Understandable.

Did you have a stroke while typing this?

The vitriolic nuclear primates

Aw yeah baby shake that heatsink

Oh look more fear porn. I don’t even give a fuck anymore, blow it all to hell.

Honk louder to assert dominance.

The egos of tinpot dictators are more fragile than porcelain. Remember that Xi had to ban a cartoon bear.

These fuckwads are pathetic.

I once worked as a dishy in a not too fancy restaurant. One busy night we were all out of ladles. They were just gone. The head chef noticed one lying on the dirty floor under the sink that had dropped there God knows when. He announced: ‘Six months rule!’ and just plonked it directly into the soup.

I laughed for a goddamn week.

This reminds me of the time I got permabanned from Reddit for saying Russians should rise up and execute Putin.

On the Ukraine subreddit.

The longer I look the worse it gets

I’d sooner chew my pinky finger off than ever work in food service again. I’m dead serious.

Dead. Fucking. Serious.

My first job was in food service so I figured, ok, this is what working is like. Never again.

I gazed into the void, and the void gazed back.

I’m in my 30s myself. People in their 30s are not old God damnit.

Now, where the fuck are my gout pills.

Holy thesaurus Batman

Does DuckDuckGo have reverse image search? Is it called DuckDuckCome?

You know you’ve done goof’d when even anon thinks you’re being a little silly