I aced the first 3 months at a new job, even got a raise and I was complimented that if everyone was like me the business would be on a whole another level.

…aaand at that point I had learned most of what was new and interesting and now all that’s left is routine tasks – and I’m dying. It got so boring so fast that my brain switched into serious dissociation and depression. I could just sit back and enjoy the easy job and get paid but no. Suddenly it’s a struggle to finish just a simple email. Fuck this.

Lucky you, sounds like a chill lifestyle

Feels, I struggle with the same issue as well. I suppose for me at least it’s the shame I’ve built up over the years for being different/“wrong” all the time and the low self-esteem and fear of rejection it has caused as well as general lack of security in relationships. One ends up expecting anger and rejection from others so of course it tries to avoid being confronted/blamed and instead reason/explain the situation away. Or shift blame. Being on spectrum can make us impulsive and dramatic so being reasonable and taking a step back is difficult when there already is a conflict. It does help me to realize that being AuDHD has a big impact on how I handle (or don’t) conflicts and having this explanation helps me tackle the shame and communicate the reasons for my shittyness to my partner, and change my behavior step by step where needed. It takes a lot of trust though and a shared interest on improving the relationship.

I wish the stimulants would stimulate happiness and not just urine production

manul

Maybe a little bit OT but if you enjoy a different perspective on the history of humanity I’d recommend Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman.

“It argues that people are decent at heart and proposes a new worldview based on the corollaries of this optimistic view of human beings. It argues against ideas of humankind’s essential egotism and malevolence. The book engages in a multi-disciplinary study of historical events, an examination of scientific studies, and philosophical argumentation in order to advance Bregman’s opinion that, this outlook is more realistic compared to its negative counterpart.” -Wikipedia

Flu getting better, motorbike not so much, tried to disassemble and clean my almost-20-year-old Philips sandwich grill but it was such a mess inside + also ended up breaking a lamp when trying to remove a stuck screw so we decided to just lay it to rest and get a new one with removable plates. That bad boy Cucina was definitely worth every penny I paid for it back in the day (probably cost like 30€)!

Momma looks like she can’t wait for junior to leave the nest and have some good ol’ peace and quiet for herself!

Nice babies you’ve got there! And in perfect order!

I caught the flu a couple days back but today I was able to get out for some time. I was planning to not do much, but ended up in the garage and started doing some projects, like fixing a lamp that has been waiting for several years, and servicing the problematic fuel petcock of my motorbike as well as continuing with the carbs. Stayed the garage for over 5 hours. I really needed that hands-on work for a change, but choosing not to rest today wasn’t probably very smart at this point.

I started a free programming course today. I’m trying to keep myself occupied during slow work days and focus on something useful. Maybe this time I’ll actually finish it! We shall see.

lunam manul

“Just call me Wöstösö” -Worcestershire probably

The cabinet cat, long lost cousin of ceiling cat!

Also for motorcycle maintenance! My winter sporting ended before it even got to start as it’s been plus degrees this whole week, but well, at least there’s more inspiration for servicing the bike now.

I wonder if there’s special theyepaste available or do they just use regular toothpaste for cleaning

manul

Brother from anowlther mother! Hawky here does look like the result of a hawk and owl love affair!

After shops started being open 24h we figured we could avoid others if we go after 8pm. Turns out all the other unsocial Finns thought so too. Probably best time would be mid-day when everyone is at work 😅

I got a (old) sailing boat a few years back. At least I wasn’t completely alone in that business, but the others weren’t exactly the most responsible people either. We sold the boat after a year, and I feel that I dodged a bullet by a narrow margin. I have only some experience sailing and couldn’t go by myself, also winter storage and things related to that are quite the hassle and it seemed that it would end up being my responsibility to sort those, among other things, out in the future.

Now I’ve got a motorbike and like with that boat I was at first very interested in learning stuff related to it, maintenance and everything, but it seems that I always need someone else to inspire me to keep going. Now I have to rely on my partner to take initiative. I’m totally happy fixing it and enjoy riding a lot, but can’t f*cking do it alone and that annoys me so much. I feel like a failure for not being able to “follow my dreams” without someone holding my hand. I’d like to get a van to build it into a small place for myself, but I know I couldn’t go anywhere by myself.

Now that I’ve realised this novelty-seeking tendency I try to not get too excited about new things (or at least make any investments) before I’m sure the inspiration will last. But then again I need something to be excited about to keep going. But to keep excitement going I need someone to share it with.

Maybe we need to collectively buy an island and establish a neurospice nation where we could arrange work and stuff so that there’s enough rotation to keep things interesting and allow people to hyperfocus on those things that they enjoy but let them swap when needed XD