Last year I suffered a lot of social loss and had become extremely isolated due to it. Over the last year I’ve been trying to do more of me and found a lot more good in my life while doing that. I’m still extremely isolated outside of interacting with my mom but it doesn’t bother me like it once did. So now I do the things I want to do when I want to do them and not waste time and/or energy looking for friends, groups, etc (especially when they’ll ditch me later and destroy my life in the process, this has happened with every friend/group my entire 40 years of living).
Basically I’m doing me and it’s been really nice. I’m getting back into Warhammer 40,000 (40k), enjoying my time in World of Warcraft, and all around much happier while doing many of my previous activities like watching anime.
Up and down. Anxiety, at least one auto immune disorder (likely another one or two since I have like no energy fairly often), no job (see: anxiety), no friends (see: everything else), and when I stop and let the thoughts start up or if something really sets me back I spiral into a depressive hole. All and all it’s okay right now. Everything sucks but I’m making the best of it and most days are more middle ground than anything. Thankfully I live with my mom and she is supportive of me and just wants to help me find happiness (she sees it as repaying a shitty childhood). I try to not abuse her generosity so I cook for her and help her with stuff.