Yes, my first relationship was LDR too. Ended when he cheated on me.

The next one also LDR, ended when he got too clingy.

Would I do it again? Prefer not to, I’m pretty soured towards LDR as well lol.

Hmmm I think people who do that think of it as a “I’m thinking of you”, it’s probably not small talk to them. I’m extremely not into it as well though, so that’s just guesswork haha.

Sounds like both of you were on the same page for amount of contact! Just being together and enjoying each other’s company is underrated imo.

My previous long term was exhausting because he wanted way more contact than I did - ended up I felt smothered and he felt unloved. My mistake was trying to give more than I could.

Anyway, we all live and learn. Definitely happier to be in a much less stressful relationship now :)

I’m curious what you mean by dating? Because I think the expectations shift slightly once it’s an official relationship. I do find it unfair though when partners expect a 180 degree change.

Anyway you sound like a cat - https://www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/are-you-a-cat-or-a-dog-in-relationships_b_6832072/amp

I think different people have different contact needs and it will be easier if you and your partner align.

This is the personal story part:

I’ve felt suffocated by previous partners - the daily good mornings and good nights felt like checking in on a mobile app game.

It’s not like I disliked or didn’t prioritise them, I am dating them after all. Most likely just a mismatch and lack of compatibility. My friends weren’t helpful either with their “aww he’s so sweet, I wish my partner was that affectionate”.

Right now I’m with someone whose level of contact matches mine and honestly it’s the best and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I never ever thought such smooth sailing was possible.

I used to say relationships are work and effort but we’ve been coasting so far. Touch wood, maybe we’re just very compatible :)

I feel like a lot of finding a similar person is down to luck, so I hope you’ll find your person soon! If you’re with someone that has similar values and ways of dealing, communication will just naturally be easier. :)