Yeah, it can be scary. That’s why it’s good to have safe spaces where you can be yourself and talk about these things. I sent you some links to communities that might be helpful, best part is, they’re right here on lemmy.

I really hope at some point you get to a point where you can feel comfortable expressing yourself in ways that match who you are. I’ll admit it does take some hard work, but the rewards are often worth it, they come in the form of self-acceptance and being happy with who you are.

would be a 6’3 trans woman with shoulders like an NFL linebacker, and likely in my mid to late 40s at best.

I know many people who felt that same way and they still pass wonderfully, yes it does take hard work and does take time. But it’s nowhere near as hopeless as it seems.

My family is never going to disown me, mind, I could burn down an orphanage on Christmas Eve and dance in the ashes and my mom would be livid, but that lady would love me and I’d be still welcome at dinner.

I’m glad to hear that your family is accepting. That’s more than I can say for my family. I haven’t talked to them in almost 7 years. They wanted nothing to do with me when I came out as trans, and were especially disgusted by the idea of me being on HRT. It’s nice to hear that your family will still accept you even if you choose to make changes.

I’m never going to feel comfortable in my own skin, so I figure I might as well be uncomfortable and still enjoy the benefits and privilege of cis white guy status. Do I hate my body? Yes. Do I wish I could change in fundamental ways that go far beyond simple weight loss or whatever? God yes. Do I realistically have the resources to make that happen and reach a point where I think I could like my body? No.

I used to feel a very similar way before my egg broke. I thought I could just push it down and live life as a normal cis boy. I couldn’t. The dysphoria eventually becomes unbearable. It can feel overwelming and hard to take the first steps, hard to make the first changes. I recommend taking things slow and starting with little things. Maybe you might not be ready for HRT but maybe try out some little social things that might make you happy, like makeup or nail polish, just something that feels gender affirming to you. You could even do these things in private. Just little things that can be first steps then take it slowly from there.

Oh God. I’ve never actually admitted any of this before, and I’m a little scared shitless right now. I seriously may delete this.

It’s okay if you want to talk to me about it more privately I can do it in DMs . If you want to reach out to others in the community here are some good communities that can help:

Discussion:

• !mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !nonbinary@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Memes:

• !egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@lemmy.ca
• !transmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

If you want to speak in a more private place I’d recommend joining the Blahaj.zone group on Matrix, instructions on how to join that here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15256176

Don’t worry, I’m happy to listen to it if it can help out a fellow transfem sister.

I tried and no matter how hard I try my voice doesn’t pass as fem. Some people say it does trying to be nice but when I showed samples to some voice training communities without telling them my gender, just asking if it sounds masc or fem they confirmed my suspicions, voice training apps also confirm my voice is still well within the masc range. It’s tiring to keep trying and if my voice doesn’t pass unless people are being nice I don’t see the point, still makes me feel bad though 😭

I guess that makes sense, not everyone is ready to face themselves at the present time. Though I know from being a stubborn egg growing up, it does eventually weigh on you. That’s why it’s a good idea to explore sooner. The most important thing is being able to live with yourself and be happy with yourself and your body, I’d suggest revisiting the idea in the future every now and again, eventually one day you might be ready, it can be scary and hard but it can also be rewarding.

I’m mostly okay now, but I wish my voice was more fem. It’s very deep and that sucks. I know I’ll need voice surgery, voice training hasn’t helped ☹️

Indeed it is, this person obviously had problems around their penis, personally I think it could’ve been gender dysphoria but it could’ve also been sexual trauma. Either way, shrooms alone aren’t going to make you want to cut your dick off. Gender dysphoria absolutely can and sometimes does make you feel that way though, take my word for it, dysphoria is no joke.

!egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone

I’ve been trying from different doctors. I’ve still been denied on the same basis. That I’m not feminine presenting enough for them, I’m probably never going to be enough by their standards I don’t really like dresses and I only wear makeup to conceal blemishes and a few face scars I have.

I used to try doing voice training but whenever I do a girl voice it sounds like a man trying to sound like a woman. I practiced for a long time and made zero progress. I shared on the voice training subreddits and they confirmed that it does sound super masc. I’ve basically given up at this point, it sucks and feels helpless. I might as well not even bother since even when trying the best I can people will still instantly clock me.

This shit is why I haven’t tried shrooms. I know it’s incredibly unlikely, but it’s just enough to scare the shit out me. I didn’t need my egg cracking during a trip and I try to do an at home, diy surgical transition.

I don’t think it’s likely unless you have really bad penis dysphoria already, believe me, you’ll know if you do. Though your egg cracking on a trip is still possible even if you don’t hate your penis, and that can be scary and uncomfortable. IMO best to do it while not tripping.

It’s likely they had strong genital dysphoria or other issues surrounding their penis. Most people don’t have the desire to cut off their penis, mushrooms or no mushrooms. I’ve had friends with bad dysphoria who did it, no mushrooms needed, but I can imagine someone also doing it while they’re high.

War on drugs is being fought in this comment section with downvotes and shitty fear mongering, and just that little bit of thinly veiled transphobia.

Lemmy may harbor less transphobes than Reddit does but they’re still here, these ones are just the ones transphobic enough to click downvote, but too scared of repercussions to speak their mind, I wish they would so they’d be banned faster.

Oh definitely, many of my friends who did that did in fact have issues urinating afterwards. It wasn’t great, also reduces the amount of workable tissue for bottom surgery (vaginoplasty uses the existing penile and scrotum tissue to construct the neovagina) though in their case that was never going to happen either due to money, transphobic medical care, or health reasons that got them denied care in the first place.

I have a strong feeling it could’ve also been from gender dysphoria in addition to all that. I should know, I’ve had my fair share of unpleasant genital dysphoria, and while I didn’t do that I wanted to. I also know those who have indeed done it, they did it without any mushrooms but I could see how one of them could’ve done it on mushrooms.

I used they/them because when it comes to people who aren’t quite out it’s hard to know what they may or may not be okay with. Some people aren’t at the point where she/her is comfortable, denial can be really bad as well. Also might be a transfem enby, we don’t know that much about them though.

Sounds like they had really bad gender dysphoria if they resorted to cutting off their penis. I’ll admit I’ve wanted to do it myself many times, but was never able to go through with it physically. I still occasionally have weak desires to do it but my dysphoria is much better these days due to how much it has shrank on estrogen.

Sometimes when dysphoria is really bad and access to gender affirming care is denied, there isn’t much choice. It’s sad and scary that for some of us this is how it must be but that’s just the way things are sometimes.

My thoughts exactly, I’d have to guess they had severe bottom dysphoria, I’ve had friends who did it for the same reason, no mushrooms though, they just did it out of their sheer desire to no longer have a penis attached to them. Gender dysphoria is no joke and really sucks. I probably would’ve done it too if the Estrogen hadn’t shrunken it so much (and the fact that I’m a wuss when it comes to blood and pain).