Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.

  • Lvxferre@mander.xyz
    12·
    10 months ago

    This changes a lot from place to place. So take into account that what I’m going to say comes from someone in Latin America.

    I think that “moving out” boils down to three questions:

    • Do you fight often with your parents?
    • Are you being leeched, or a leech yourself?
    • Does it prevent you from doing what you want to do?

    If the answer for all those three things is a clear “no”, then there’s no reason to move out.

    Freedom is not a theoretical matter, but a practical one; it’s not being prevented from doing what you want. In certain cases you might be less free by moving out.