- cross-posted to:
- wlw_memes@lemmy.world
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Reject indirect, cue-based communication. Embrace direct, non-repentant “I want to have fuck with you”.
Do you want some making fuck?
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Ey Becky u want sum fuck?
*If you’re a woman. That’s a good way to end up on a list if you’re a man.
Bro. You don’t ask this to random people. You need to build rapport. I have plenty of times vibed with people and then told them i got the hots for them and then we did the deed. It ain’t too hard. Just be clear and upfront and make some vibe checks.
It’s not too hard for you. If it was as easy as you say for everyone, nobody would be upvoting this post.
But incels aren’t people
Not everyone who struggles with relationships is a misogynistic asshole.
Clearly following rules 1 & 2.
Not even close. Average
Yep, no mention of the Fight Club
How tall are you?
It’s about energy, for every girl obsessed with being above X height there is another equally attractive woman who doesn’t give a shit about height.
Notice the choice of words.
Shorter end of the spectrum. No where close to 5’11"
Why on earth would you be so vague:? Are you the only 3’9" guy in the world or something?
He is actually three inches tall!
Because I cherish my privacy and I don’t think it matters what your height is or rule 1 and 2. I am a short king, average looking, but I understand people and I can be genuine at times and have wonderful experiences.
I did something like that once, but it was at a gangbang. Men can do it in certain contexts where some level of sexual activity is expected.
not if you’re a woman either
I want to have fuck with you.
For real though, a friend of mine recently (August) walked into a gas station and asked the girl working there if she was married. She said yes. He said, “You the type keep a man on the side?”
The next day he was in handcuffs. He’s a strange dude and he says things to women that I don’t think he should, so naturally, I doubted him.
He was charged with stalking, trespassing after being forbidden, and assault.
His lawyer managed to get the video from the store and the body cam video from the officer who responded. He brought the USB drive by a few days ago after the charges were dismissed so I could see the video. He doesn’t want his friends to think he’s a piece of shit.
I watched it. He said exactly what I said above and told her to have a good day, turned back around to say, “Good on you for being faithful. You ever get sick of him, remember me.” Was it nasty to say that? Absolutely. A crime? Absolutely not.
The body cam video was the most interesting part. The woman said, “He came in here and told me outright that he wanted to fuck me. I told him I was married and I figured that would be the end of it, just like with other creepy men. I asked him to please not come here while I’m working.” The cop interrupts, “Well that’s trespassing right there. I’ll git eem fer that too.” She continued, “Well, he had a massive erection and he stood here playing with it through his shorts. He wanted me to see it. He came over beside the counter and kind of stepped behind where I was at.” Cop interrupts again, “Ok so he actually came behind the counter?” “Not fully, but he did step back there about a step or two.” She replied. Cop says, “well ‘ats assault right there. I can charge em with that too. So did he take his penis out where you could see it? I’d like to charge him with indecent exposure too but unless you seen his penis, like, the flesh, I cain’t do that. I’m gonna git eem with stalkin’ too though.” She replied, “Well no, I didn’t see his actual penis, but he stood there rubbing it through his shorts and motioning his head for me to look at it. It was a big old boner. I was scared to death. He kept saying, “you know I can give it to you good, won’t you walk in the women’s bathroom with me.” and stuff like that. I called my husband and he came out here. When the guy came back a third time he walked in and walked right back out when he seen my husband.”
On the video he walked in, said, “Well, damn. I left my wallet at home. I’ll be right back.” Her husband said, “no, you won’t be right back. You ain’t welcome in here anymore.” He paused for a second and looked at him dumbfounded and said, “Well, alright. This ain’t the only gas station in town. Bye then.”
I watched the video from the gas station. None of it happened. Everything she said was pure fantasy. I spent from August until a few days ago thinking he was a total fucking creep. I can’t believe he was charged at all and I can’t believe the girl didn’t back out when the manager offered to get the video for the police. Oh, and the assault charge. He stepped behind the counter to reach over and grab a paper towel to clean coffee he spilled. He has been stopping there for 20 years and didn’t think it would be a problem.
She also said he didn’t pay for his coffee on the video so I’m surprised officer Doofy didn’t charge him with shoplifting too.
Us men gotta be careful. For real.
Women too, because assholes like the one she described to the officer do exist and women contend with them daily. Lying, dangerous women also exist too.
I’d be afraid to hit on a total stranger. I wouldn’t want to anyway because that’s not the type of person I am. If I were though, I’d be too afraid to do it. Every woman I’ve ever been with said something to me first. I never wanted to come off as a creep and I like women who assert themselves anyway.
Fortunately there was video and the charges were dropped.
Yes, women can lie. So can anyone. And I mean… we don’t know you either and we’re supposed to take your word for it. As far as I know this is a story online. Anyone can lie to sway an opinion the way they want it. Wouldn’t be the first. Won’t be the last.
It correlates with my experience. I’ve had the police called on me for simply existing in a public park as a man.
I also find it interesting how willing you are to call a man a liar when he shares his struggles. Would you do the same if the genders were reversed?
As I already said and started with: yes women can lie. So can anyone. I find it interesting It’s been repeated to you now. Once was not enough for you.
Us men gotta be careful
I agree. Specifically though I think men need to be careful about who they flirt with and in what contexts. Flirting with people at their job should never be considered. Best case, you annoy her. Worst case, well… you explained one example. Either way, it’s generally wise not to annoy the people you want to hook up with.
Nah, you take your shot (without being inappropriate) then you accept the answer gracefully.
This guy did a three in one - she clearly went way, way beyond acceptable responses, but forcing out a straight “no” makes women uncomfortable.
When she says “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m gay” or whatever, it may be the reason she’s saying no or she might just be lying to spare your pride and avoid a bad reaction. An excuse is definitely a “no” though
You get one shot. If you’re the type who needs a clear answer, ask a clear question the first time
You don’t write the rules, buddy. And at that rate, you might find yourself on the other side of rules you didn’t think existed.
This may surprise you, but the world is not fair.
The words have already left your mouth
You know, there was a girl I was chatting with once. She suggests we get lunch, then calls it off last minute.
A few days later she complains about some guy she likes who stood her up for lunch that lives near me.
Then she just ghosted me.
I’ve always wondered if she meant me and the whole thing was her miscommunicating and then trying to be coy and indirect.
Is… is this a Raphaël reference?
HARDCORE TO THE MEGA
I remember the time that a friend of mine was lying on a bed, looking my in the eye and saying “fuck me” and I somehow missed the hint.
Tbf that’s kind of subtle
Maybe she’s Canadian and just being polite. You really can’t know.
yeah, should be more straight instead.
like straddling them directly, instead just laying there with them, while saying it.
Damn, this reminds me of what happened to me. A girl I had the biggest crush on was lying in bed and saying take your shirt off and come over here. Back then I was super self-conscious about my body so I said: “Haha, why? No, I don’t want to”.
Years later I realized what she meant.
A cute waitress once complimented my t-shirt.
I know exactly what you mean, I still regret not making a move
First time I was at a bath house this cute guy started talking to my and asked “so, are you a daddy?”
“Yeah! I’ve got two kids and they’re…”
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Do you wanna come up for a coffee?
Nah thanks, not in the mood for coffee
I legit did this after a date once, though in my defence she asked me in for green tea and I don’t like green tea lol.
She started to wonder if I was just very friendly and gay after that.
Fortunately I clarified the issue by marrying her.
You overreacted. You are definitely a closeted gay.
Sounds like a proportionate way to solve the misunderstanding.
Which issue? The tea or the gay?
Still don’t like it.
The tea or men?
Yes
You showed her!
That must have been one hell of a second date.
“No thanks. Coffee keeps me up at night”
-George Costanza
The thing I don’t understand about George is how a dumb person like him get attractive dates that even ask him to their house at night.
Confidence goes a very long way. You don’t have to be attractive to get dates.
Plus, he’s not real.
A good number of his episode plots are based on things that actually happened to one of the writers, though. Jason Alexander once complained about a plot for George not being believable because nobody would do that, then the guy responded that he had done it.
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Man… in college I was in the bedroom of a girl I had a crush on and didn’t take the hint. She’d invited me over to do homework together but never touched a book and took me to her bedroom. I still didn’t get the hint.
Hey some of us are meant to make lots and lots of babies with varied and sundry people. And spread lots and lots of STDs in the process.
And some of us (myself included) are not. Which is fine because babies are expensive, and gross. Now I’m sterile, I can have all the sex I want, and I only need to watch for the disease part
Same/similar.
Met up at hers to study. Didn’t study much, but we chatted a lot.
She told me about how she was born with a birth defect (hips or tibias, I don’t recall now) and how fairly early her on as a baby she had surgery to correct it.
The surgeon made a point out of really doing a nice suture to make the scars as minimal as possible, for future “young lady” her.
She wasn’t shy about showing me, pulling down one side of her pants to show the pretty much invisible scar. “See??”
And I did nothing. Call it good manners, call it being shackled by the fear of self-doubt.
Geez. I just now remembered her full name. And it’s been more than 40 years now.
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Like that anecdote that Zizek always tells when the girl basically replies “good, I don’t have any coffee at home”
We could be actively fucking and I’d still doubt if that’s what she meant. I’d need something like a testimony under oath and corroborating opinions from three independent psychologists.
Hello, I am writing to you under the freedom of information act to ask if you are into me.
Nope, probably just Canadian and being polite. Better keep looking for signs.
Just like others with a missed , obvious, opportunity.
I had a girl take me to a room, take her clothes off, and then just look at me and and ask “Well?”
I had no fucking clue what she meant or what to do so I just did nothing. She then changed into different clothes and left.
It hurts just reading this
Maybe she wanted you to dress her?
It took me 5 years to realize she did not actually need her PC fixed. I missed my only chance.
Maybe she just want you to check out her new invisible tattoo, can’t be sure.
It might’ve been a black-light tattoo and she simply forgot to turn on her UV lamp.
Bruh 😐
Fuck, how is this so common? I thought I was the only being this dumb.
Yes, it happened.
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This seems like the naked man move on How i met your mother.
I went with “I’ve got boobs.”
I remember an acquaintance was complaining about their computer turning off when they closed the lid, so I told her to hand it over and I’d see if I could fix it.
She said she’d buy me dinner to thank me, but my fix didn’t really fix the problem, I just made the computer not sleep when you closed it, and so I didn’t feel like it was worth a reward
She even asked a second time, it took me years to realize I unknowing (firmly) shot her down
real, being neurodivergent makes this 10x as relatable
It’s so hard to see past a belief that nobody could possibly by interested in you that way.
Bruh i didn’t even get it reading it the first time
If it helps folks feel better, successful relationships often require successful communication. If one is playing games and the other isn’t getting it, that may be a good thing that the moment was missed; you weren’t on the same wavelength and should probably pair with a better match.
TIL I have a crush on everyone.
this doesn’t make sense tho, why would she say “talking to my crush is awful” to her crush? it doesn’t seem reasonable
Testing the water!
Actually more common than you’d think.
Dropping hints
Because she’s not reasonable when talking to her crush
I just realised that the second character didn’t just feel bad for being impolite…
no it’s just that
Some other comments seem to think the first character was in love with the second but the second didn’t realize until a year later.
There was this one guy I was good friends with during my late teens, always taking pictures of us… Took me embarrassingly long to realise he had the gay hots for me. In my defense, I leaned way more hetero at the time.
I am interested in this. Are you bi now? Were you ACTUALLY into girls at the time, or did you just THINK you were?
Not OP, but I’d still like to share my story.
I was always bi, and I always knew. But for me, in the social environment, it was simply to much work trying to explain to other people why it isn’t wrong to be touchy with another boy, if he feels the same way.
Cool. Thanks for sharing. I guess I can see how it might sound a bit skeptical on reading with a certain intonation, but that wasn’t the intention. The thing that has me curious is really someone that I used to know when I was in the Navy. I worked in security department on an aircraft carrier for about a year, and we were a really tight-knit group. We hung out outside of work and everything. One of the guys was openly gay, and we all supported him just the same. This other dude, who all just call Waters (because I’ve never had occasion to use a pseudonym before), was easily the weirdest motherfucker I have ever met in my entire life. Same as the rest of the group though, we’re all friends and I trusted him to watch my back in a reaction Force scenario. We loved him, but he was just a freaking weirdo. His hobbies included playing World of Warcraft about 18 hours a day while off duty, really rare and esoteric whiskeys and scotches that I was happy to sample with him, and sneaking up behind people in dark engineering spaces give them a shoulder massage and growl at them, then laugh hysterically at the response.
A number of years ago, I managed to get into a chat with one of the other guys from our roving team, and I was asking him if he had any contact with some of the other people. Everybody I asked about moved on to pretty normal things, but I asked about Waters, and he said “oh yeah, he’s gay now” and apparently he turned into a completely normal, well adjusted grown up person who happens to be gay. There was literally nothing holding him back from saying so at the time, but either due to social pressure from his family, and assumption that he made about himself as a child, or who knows what else, it just never occurred to him that he was gay. It seems like after he accepted that, and his mind didn’t have to be constantly running some kind of error correction about how he really felt compared to how he assumed he should feel, it completely changed his personality for the better, and he was able to be a functioning adult in a professional setting (as fun as he was before). Ever since, I’ve wondered how many other gay people have had a similar experience growing up, where they just assume that all guys think that dicks are kind of cool to look at, and it takes them a little while to realize that the default setting of heterosexual is not what they really are. Anyway, that’s why I ask.
Curious questions and honest discourse are the most important thing that we can engage in as people I truly believe. White people have no experience being black, straight people have no paradigm for being gay or bi, and I can’t even fathom what it would be like to feel like I was born into a body with the wrong gender, but I would love for someone who’s lived it to tell me what it feels like, because that’s the only way I’ll ever know. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Yeah, nice story. I get this.
I had a similar dude like that when I was taking the military (we have to in my country). He was very weird and fun, and also very touchy with everybody. Idk whether he would have called himself gay though.
It’s a package.
Who the hell is down voting this? Do you think I’m being homophobic by wanting to hear your experience from the person who experienced it?
I think the emphasis comes across wrong. When I read that in my head it sounds… condoning?
Both of you are coming vague. His “leaning more hetero at the time” and your emphasis on ACTUALLY, you sound like you’re doubting that a person can like penises and vaginas, or just straight up not care.
He’s probably bi or pan. Probably always had been. He probably didn’t realize it in school, or wouldn’t admit it to himself due to societal pressure. He seems to be more comfortable about it now. It really doesn’t need much more detail.
Sheesh, have some good faith folks
I feel like lemmy is sticking more to the old reddiquette upvote/downvote culture of “upvote if it contributes to the conversation, downvote if not”, and not the modern culture of “upvote is if lols”.
It comes across kinda No True Scotsman-y. Like, “If you didn’t know you were bi, you were probably just faking”, especially with that emphasis.
Maybe restating to “were you just curious at the time, or did you have experience?” would help?
Idk man people are weird… Got u back to an even 0 ^^
I mean, tbf, you can’t tell.
Could be Canadian
Is she still fed up with her friends insecurity after a year?
No, blonde girl was dropping hints that emo girl is her crush. Emo girl didn’t get the hint until a year later.
Oooooohhhhhh. Ya. That makes way more sense than my thing.
I think it’s just an intrusive thought because she basically (accidentally) told her friend that she is weird and annoying during a moment of vulnerability. Stuff sticks with you. It’s like the time I felt the need to explain to our German foreign exchange student that they only need to use a little bit of salt because I didn’t realize that they have salt in Germany. I was 9 at the time, but still. I think about that…
didn’t even get it properly
