Thank you, I really appreciate it. There’s a LOT left out of the abusive conditions I lived in leading up to that, I was forced to sleep on the floor for a couple of years, forced to physically abuse myself for her amusement once I was well and truly broken. She used my kid as a pawn to manipulate and control me and it worked. She used my size to intimidate other people to get what she wanted. Burned down our home.

Cut me off from all of my friends and family.

I’m doing a LOT better these days, it’s been a few years now. Through therapy and giving myself space I uncovered memories of being sexually abused by a priest in my youth, which surely didn’t help, and the legal ramifications of that are still turning as we speak.

I’m still a broken human, but I’m a much better version of myself than I was a few years ago. I struggle, and fight the constant feeling that I should cease to exist, but as long as my kid needs me I have a thread holding me down.

I have the most amazing partner now, who has shown me what it is really like to be loved beyond being a parent. Something I never experienced until the last couple of years.

I’m writing a letter to my kid, that I will give her when they are much much older, outlining what those years were like. I know they can see the evil in their mom, but can’t name it yet. I haven’t said a word about it to them, and have no plans to until much much later or until they start to ask me about based on their observations.

I had intended to just say thank you, but … it feels good to let it out. Very very few people who know me have heard that much of the story. Thank you for hearing me. I truly appreciate it.