Sorry in advance for the wall of text! Some background…
Enter me, someone who usually gets around by bicycle or public transport. I’m about 200 miles away from anyone close (besides my partner) and the trains, while fast and convenient, are expensive and quite limited at some times of the day.
So, as a solution, I decided I’ll pick up some driving lessons so I can drive to friends with a rental or my own vehicle, on much more flexible terms. Since I had some existing experience in various driving simulators (almost 200h combined), I decided why not?
Now, about the lesson.
The instructor was absolutely amazing, got me up to speed with all kinds of things I wasn’t familiar with, like adjusting the mirrors, wheel and stuff.
The car is a stick shift/manual, as that’s the norm here. To be honest, changing gears was the easiest part - it felt really familiar because of the simulators. However I really struggled with how much information you need to take in from around you during the actual driving, literally had to try so hard to not make my mind wander for even a second, because I’d lose track of the environment and stuff. It was dark too so that made things a little challenging.
I’d say a major stress point too is the fact that i’m operating a 2000kg SUV, not an agile 20kg bicycle.
On one hand I’m hoping things improve with time, on the other I really wish we had good, affordable public transport to begin with.
What are your thoughts?
It’s kinda like going to a new job. It’s only scary because it’s new. As long as you’re not on your phone the whole time or driving drunk it’s a lot easier than you’d think
Tbh the hardest part (at least in America) is some intersections are weird, but 90% of the time you’ll have people in front of you to copy and figure it out.
Sounds like a pretty normal first time out. You’ll get used to the streets around where you live and then you’ll get the same experience the first time you drive somewhere new. Then again the first time you get on a high speed highway. Then the first time you drive in a city downtown.
You’ll get comfortable with all those situations eventually and each one will make adapting to the next situation easier.
I never learnt to drive as a kid because of anxiety, but now I don’t because of mental health reasons (namely ADHD and chronic fatigue) and philosophical reasons (fuck cars). I usually walk to places or catch trains and I think that’s also better for my mental health than stressing about cars, maintaining them, or injuring someone.
I also think I’m allergic to tire soot as my chest tightens and my sinuses die when I walk by a highway. So there’s also that.
Don’t push yourself beyond your limits with driving, because your and other’s safety will be on the line. That being said though, you should be fine as plenty of other people with ADHD manage driving :)
Whatever happens to you, I hope you stay safe!
I used to HATE driving. Couldn’t be convinced to enjoy it in any capacity for the first two years or so. But eventually, you get to a point where it’s just second nature, and it ends up just being a time where you’re alone in an enclosed space and can just listen to music or books or something and almost meditate (of course, still paying attention to the road, lol). Now, I LOVE driving! It’s normally pretty relaxing, even if I have to go on longer 5-6 hour drives every few months. It most certainly gets better with time :)
Relax, it’s completely normal to feel strange. You’re learning a new skill, plus you’ve grown up watching fiery car explosions. Modern cars are well designed to prevent injuries in crashes.
It’s intimidating but once you get over that initial hurdle you’ll be amazed how second nature it becomes in time.
It feels empowering and a bit fun!
Yes exactly!
I fucking love driving, I even have a manual.
I fucking hate other drivers and bikers, to the petty point of wishing a terrible death to those who can’t follow basic traffic rules.
(not ADHD, very likely Autistic)
I can’t drive either. I thought it might improve over time, but I committed to a year of driving my daily commute and it didn’t improve at all. Having to constantly keep my attention on the road and road signs continues to be incredibly exhausting, and it eats up so much of my time. I’m probably going to have to pick it up again soon out of necessity and I’m not looking forward to it.
I hate driving so much that I choose to live in a place with good public transportation and bike lanes so that I don’t have to.
I’m not adhd but I do remember my first lessons and it was like you described. Sooo many road signals and inputs to process. It DOES get easier with time, a bit from muscle memory, a bit from learning how to the vehicle handles and responds (there is a small learning curve with learning a new vehicle every time though). And yeah, learning on a suv is not the easiest thing. Driving in the dark is also more complicated (having to pay so much attention to bikes for example). So basically you are learning on hard mode! It took me 20+ hours with the instructor to be ready for the exam, so don’t despair!
I would suggest a few things:
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Be consistent: When you drive, even if you are not experience, if you maintain the same speed and acceleration you should be fine as other cars can predict your movement and go around you.
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Use the triangle signal: If you felt a little bit uncomfortable just click the tringle signal. Other cars will be scared of you and gave you the right of way and hopefully slow down.
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Drive in optimal condition:
Sleepy ? Rainy or foggy weather? Need to eat or use the washroom? Dont drive. Take an uber if needed but don’t drive.
- Drive slowly:
Even if people get angry at you ignore them. Driving slowly increase your ability to react to denger. If someone bother you use the triangle signal and they will think something wrong with your car and ignore you.
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I had some lessons and found it completely terrifying too. I’m too easily overwhelmed and don’t have the reaction times to feel safe while controlling a vehicle. Like, I can drive, and in zen mode I’m even pretty good at it- but all it takes is some flashing lights and/or sudden loud noise and I’m unable to continue driving as my brain’s filled with static.
Luckily I’ve always enjoyed walking and lived in places with public transport options.
You are absolutely not alone. When you first start out, everything is overwhelming because the minutae hasn’t become muscle memory yet. You also get better at anticipating what other drivers on the road are about to do, and your reaction times get quicker.
Check out defensive driving concepts like covering the brake when reducing speed by moving your foot from acceleration to hover over the brake pedal, in case you need to press it. Looking 3 cars ahead of you to see the flow of traffic ,managing your own speed, leaving 2 to 3 seconds of space between the car in front of you (usually at least one car length if not more). Using signals, watching for hazards, and above all else, staying calm.
At first just lining up your wheels with the lines on the road takes a little thought, but once you get that down you can return to it when you feel overwhelmed, then ya take a breath and scan your mirrors. You will be just fine!
I like driving, but I’m a total hoon. You’d think you’d grow out of it at 21 but at 40 it’s still racecar.
I’ve got a very small car (935kg) with a stick shift and stiff suspension. Environmental feedback is your friend. Tune your car to exaggerate it. You’ll zone out much less.
Full-pace forces full attention.
If you can see someone, expect them to try and kill you or themselves. Expect that person to cut you off without signal, or the pedestrian to jump into the middle of the road. Leave yourself enough room on all sides for evasive maneuvers.
That’s something my motorcycle instructor said, and I haven’t been in an accident since.
