Social media is dead, it’s just advertising platforms now. If it’s not corporate advertising, then the users are essentially being encouraged to advertise themselves for “engagement”.

There are those of us trying to find ways to return to the "smolnet’. And I do feel we are on the cusp of a renaissance.

I too have enjoyed Lemmy, because of it’s smaller userbase. But also because it’s a lot of nerds, with particular interests, who want to talk about or share said interests.

Speaking of special interests, forums and bulletin boards are still alive and breathing. You kind of have to seek them out according to your interests, but they definitely scratch an itch when you find a couple good ones that interest you.

IRC is also still alive (on life support) and more difficult to navigate than forums, in my experience. Lots and lots of dead channels and servers to sift through. My biggest wish in the internet world is for IRC to see a resurgence.

Social media only works when you have something common to talk about.

On the forums of old, there was a topic to each individual forum. Motorcycles, knitting, whatever, you did not just dump photos of your kids and be done with it, you talked about motorcycles or knitting. It was meaningful, you learned something new from it, so the conversation had value.

On Facebook it’s the gossip about your family and ex classmates, and non-stop boasting about your overseas vacations. It attracts certain public, who cannot hold a meaningful conversation about motorcycles or knitting, it’s all about getting an ego boost after comparing yourself to your ex classmates.

Reddit was like the reboot of forums, which were becoming overrun with spam and typically had tiny userbase. All the talk about motorcycles and knitting, from everyone on the planet, all together in one place, good! Except that it was designed for marketing and corporate abuse, so you got russian trolls guiding every conversation into trumpvoting.

Lemmy is like that but without the corporate part. Userbase is still quite small, but users here are of better quality, with much fewer bots. I have a lot of hope for it.

So, you will get better conversations out of social media if people reading your posts get something useful out of them, either emotions or a new knowledge. A bit of hate is expected, people get pissed off for no reason, just ignore it like the interwebs veteran you are.

So yeah, I don’t know much about knitting, so, back to motorcycles. You can buy an electrical scooter for city use for really cheap, like, $1000 for something new with two seats and 50 km range, and you often don’t even need a driver’s license, because electric motorcycles below a specific power rating are considered the same as bicycles, depending on your local laws. The problem, you need a garage for it. Not because it will get rusty in the rain or snow, modern bikes are quite waterproof. No, it’s because it will get stolen, no matter what kind of lock and alarm you put on it, or it will get wheels screwed off. And if you live in the middle of the city, a bare cargo container garage going for $10 000 is cheap, depending on a country. So, you buy a motorcycle when you live in a house on a private piece of land where you can park it. When you live in an high-rise apartment, you buy a car like everyone else and fight for a parking spot on a nearby street each evening.

Well, I got my pitchfork out. Where is the hay?

I understand and agree with your point of view and to a degree our journeys into social media share some parallels.

I moved to Lemmy hoping to leave behind at least some part of the dark and caustic mood reddit has by default and, to a degree, it has happened but as you say, people are angry - rightfully so - but in their anger, anyone is a viable outlet for it, for the pettiest or non existant of reasons.

Not having a solution or suggestion in how to solve or at least alleviate this problem you describe and I’ll risk many more feel, as someone who tries to participate in topics that tease my brain, regardless of the outcome I’ll receive for my words: say what you understand as true and valid, apply the sage in the mountain wisdom (“you’re right”) and move forward, until you feel you don’t have anything else to add.

The internet is whatever you make of it. IMO is easier than ever to create what you want. The early internet was pretty care free because the technological competency hurdle, but now your every retired boomer has turned from sitting on their porch and yelling at children to sitting in social media and yelling at everyone they disagree with.

Do you prefer quantity or quality? I think people have become disillusioned by the quantity of post2014 internet. If you were on forums back pre2010 try and remember the experience. I knew everyone on the forum by their username. I knew what they were probably going to post before they posted it. Making communities like that now takes like 5 minutes to make a discord server then a few weeks to find like minded people.