Small talk. Not sure why but it’s incredibly difficult for me to initiate a small talk or make it flow nicely from one topic to another. It’s a reason i find myself resisting the idea of dating or simply went out to socialise, or even talk to my neighbours. The anxiety always there.
I was at the dentist office around Halloween, and there was an old lady in the waiting room with me. She was a small talker and I learned something from this exchange.
“Oh, don’t their decorations look cute!”
“Yes, I love Halloween!”
“Oh, yes, all the kids in their cute costumes. Do you have children?”
"Yes but they are older now, youngest in high school "
It was like she had practiced for a long time, wasn’t like she was intrusive or pushy, just light conversation, and it is a SKILL not a talent. You can do it. Look around and comment on something. Practice. ETA: you don’t have kids so the dance move would be “No, do you have kids or grandkids?” It can keep going without you sharing, it’s sort of a game I think.
Also find people who don’t need the silence filled, people who like to just sit with you and not talk, not everyone needs that small talk - I think it’s fun but don’t need it, am comfortable with silence too. Just remember it’s a skill you can learn, like cooking. You can even learn to enjoy it if you don’t feel like it’s mandatory.
Small talk. Not sure why but it’s incredibly difficult for me to initiate a small talk or make it flow nicely from one topic to another. It’s a reason i find myself resisting the idea of dating or simply went out to socialise, or even talk to my neighbours. The anxiety always there.
I was at the dentist office around Halloween, and there was an old lady in the waiting room with me. She was a small talker and I learned something from this exchange.
“Oh, don’t their decorations look cute!”
“Yes, I love Halloween!”
“Oh, yes, all the kids in their cute costumes. Do you have children?”
"Yes but they are older now, youngest in high school "
It was like she had practiced for a long time, wasn’t like she was intrusive or pushy, just light conversation, and it is a SKILL not a talent. You can do it. Look around and comment on something. Practice. ETA: you don’t have kids so the dance move would be “No, do you have kids or grandkids?” It can keep going without you sharing, it’s sort of a game I think.
Also find people who don’t need the silence filled, people who like to just sit with you and not talk, not everyone needs that small talk - I think it’s fun but don’t need it, am comfortable with silence too. Just remember it’s a skill you can learn, like cooking. You can even learn to enjoy it if you don’t feel like it’s mandatory.