Some truly interesting perspectives in this guy’s story. I’m pretty conscious of some of this stuff as I raise two boys.
The bathroom and handshake things are real. Some things are more nuanced like the office admin stuff.
The diet one is new and baffling though. There’s definitely office banter about food. I haven’t ever been aware of it being gender based, though.
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No it’s a well-studied woman thing.
“… women tend to be underestimated more. They tend to be interrupted, more talked over more. They have to prove their competence more and we often feel uncomfortable when they’re in positions of authority.” https://www.forbes.com/sites/michelleking/2021/10/26/the-authority-gap-why-women-are-still-taken-less-seriously-than-men/?sh=3ed8223e634d
That doesn’t inherently discredit the idea that going from a child to an adult would not also contribute; people who wouldn’t do that to a woman VS a man could still do it to a child, for example
Oh dude I went the other way as an adult. I have a deep voice and I’m tall so I’m pretty obviously trans.
Even so people went from just default listening to me and taking my ideas seriously to just ignoring me half the time. It’s most egregious with strangers, if I speak about anything technical people often overrule say my opinion on something physics (An area I’m pretty knowledgable in and relatively good at communicating) for some half remembered anecdote some man told them, previously they’d be like “Oh wow that’s interesting, I always thought X” or something far more indicative that they listened.
I’m pretty obviously trans.
That could be enough maybe? Anyone who is perceived as “strange” gets second hand citizenship, even if it’s subtle.
Nah it happens even when I keep my mouth shut. Like men just look past you when looking for answers, people in shops will just ask a guy you’re with what they want etc. Hell when I worked IT and people only knew my email signature I’d get the “can I get a man/someone more senior/an it specialist to look at this” after I’d give my opinion.
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Yeah, it’s pretty clear we live in a very sexist society. I think when people who aren’t exposed to gender equality movements much hear that they think it’s a claim of rabid misogyny. It’s not that though, most people aren’t frothing at the mouth to say how shit women are (although we have a particularly nasty problem with domestic violence which is quite violent), it manifests in ways such as:
- finding women more annoying than men exhibiting the same behaviour
- speaking over women without even noticing they’ve talked
- requiring higher standards of evidence for statements made by women
- not actively seeking out the opinions of women in conversation in favour of giving attention to men
- demanding women adopt masculine mannerisms and socialisation to be taken seriously
It catches men in the crossfire too, men who fail to meet masculine standards are discounted. Think about short men, or men with higher pitched soft voices etc.
It’s frustrating and why it’s not enough to just try not be sexist, but to be specifically anti sexist. That is, to make a point of compensating for biases you probably don’t want to express but were likely conditioned into expressing as a child in order to approach something more like truly fair treatment.
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The part where the women was looking back over her shoulder at him and he turned around to check if someone was following them made me laugh.
This is the best summary I could come up with:
This is a glaring contrast to women’s public bathrooms, which can feel like stepping into a feminist support group.
The chatter, the laughter, the occasional tears and waves of support for those crying makes for a heartening sense of camaraderie and solidarity.
It turns out that’s how many men shake hands with each other — and I had a steep learning curve ahead to perfect this ritual.
If you have a feminine-sounding voice, it can lead to an onslaught of verbal abuse, harassment and misogyny from players online.
As a woman, you’re made constantly aware of how much sound you’re making where it seems that men aren’t conditioned to be attuned to that at all.
At work I’m no longer asked, or expected, to organise gifts for farewells or birthdays, morning teas or lunches, or plans like booking meeting rooms, sending invites, taking minutes or extra administrative tasks.
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