When I was a kid my brother was pushing me on a roundabout at the local park. He was pushing faster and faster, and centrifugal force did its thing. I could have held on tighter, but problem was I had an ice lolly in one hand and refused to let go of it, so could only hold onto the roundabout with one hand.

And that is how I ended up face down in the dirt, holding this lolly above my head because even in the crucial moment I prioritised it over protecting my face, and with a fake front tooth for the rest of my life.