But if your oppressor is LGBTQ+ and oppressing you for being LGBTQ+ it is “rules for thee…”

Yes. He is "rules for thee…"ing you.

But when you out him you become the one not abiding by your own rules. Twice. Once for the outing, because you don’t want to be outed. And again for not holding yourself to your own standard of not having rules that don’t apply to you.

I don’t think we should be defending the rights of an oppressor over the rights of the oppressed.

If you think that some people don’t deserve to have their rights protected, then you are the oppressor.