• ursakhiin@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    FYI that’s definitely a you thing.

    Some people jump to problem solving immediately when they find out about a problem. Others will sit and contemplate how they are feeling about a problem.

    This text sounds like a compromise that has been worked out because she was getting frustrated that he just jumps into problem solving when all she wants to hear is affirmation of her feelings. He’s still got work to do, but he’s clearly trying.

    Source: this is exactly a conversation my wife and I had

    • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Exactly the same for me. When my wife had a problem, I always started to solve it. “Okay, did you do this and that? Tomorrow we’ll try x. Maybe if we call X” etc.- I needed to learn for months not to do it at the beginning of our relationship. She said she just needed to rant, to talk about it and didn’t want a solution. Which, given that I’m an engineer, is very difficult to do. I don’t really see problems as problems, mostly just tasks that need solution.

    • Solivine
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, I mean I know getting annoyed by it would achieve nothing so I wouldn’t react in a negative manner to them, I would just discuss it with them later that it bothered me and could maybe try a different method if it’s needed for them.