Ok so to cheer the place up a bit I thought I’d share my Halloween story. This was about 30 years ago it’s still clear as day in my head. My brother bought this hideous mask thing, it kinda looked like a deranged werewolf, a whole rubber mask over the head deal with God ugly wild hair. I had not seen it.

Walking down the darkened hallway at home heading for my bedroom, he waited in a doorway half way down and when I got close he said “boo”. Not loud. Just boo. Well I fucking shit and let out some very explicit language. He just walks off. I was test subject number 1.

Come Halloween night (it was still daylight) he’s watching out the window waiting for some teenagers. Finally 3 poor unsuspecting children rock up and just before they ring the bell he flings open the door and in the most horrible Freddy Kruger type voice screams “Ya wants some candy?” They absolutely shat, screamed and tried to run then they laughed. He then has a chat to them to make sure that they’re OK. Finished up with “be sure to tell you friends”.

He comes in satisfied that it worked. Asks “should I hold a kitchen knife next time?” “No”. “It’s not real”. “No”.