• Seraph@kbin.social
    793·
    1 year ago

    Tell her you’re interested but never stick your dick in a girl the first time when she wasted. She can’t legally make a decision in that state of mind.

    • RHOPKINS13@kbin.social
      4014·
      1 year ago

      Ain’t it funny how if a guy has sex with a drunk chick, he’s “taking advantage of her and the situation,” but if a chick has sex with a drunk guy it’s rarely seen that way, and in either case if she ends up pregnant she can go after the guy for child support for the next 18 years…

      • Nepenthe@kbin.social
        322·
        1 year ago

        Increased awareness of and respect for men who have been abused? UBI or some other welfare net generously funded enough that a parent didn’t have to care about pursuing some private citizen that wasn’t interested in being involved? I’m all for that.

        Both of those would be an improvement so massive it is never going to happen, especially the second one. That would have been life changing for me in so many ways. I wouldn’t even be who I am, christ.

        Unfortunately, it usually turns out they meant “How come getting them drunk has to matter” and “I don’t care about starving children and I’ll say so out loud.”

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
          103·
          1 year ago

          Finns wouldn’t have sex at all if finding someone at a bar was verboten lol

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
              11·
              1 year ago

              Similarly drunk is generally cool. If it feels like either of you might be letting the drinking do the thinking exchange numbers instead.

              Like I’ve had great drunk sex. But I also know people who were too drunk to say no and absolutely were raped. In general don’t have sex you think either of you will regret.

    • Polar@lemmy.ca
      157·
      1 year ago

      I’m confused how two drunk people having sex is date rape? I mean I’m assuming OP was also drinking.

        • Polar@lemmy.ca
          132·
          1 year ago

          Okay so firstly adultery isn’t a crime in Canada, that would be insane. Not sure where you’re from. While cheating is absolutely disgusting, it is more disgusting to think that somewhere that’s a punishable crime.

          Secondly, your comment about her sobering up and saying you raped her isn’t significant. A girl can say that about sex at any time. Drunk, sober, on a Wednesday, doesn’t matter.

          At the end of the day, two drunk people having sex isn’t really rape. Words have meaning, and rape has a definition.

          You can call it gross, immoral, etc., but it’s by definition not rape, assuming they were both drinking and she wanted it, and she wasn’t black out drunk. I don’t see why OP would be sober at a party.

          That being said, yes, OP did the right thing in multiple ways. I’m not saying he should’ve had sex with her, all I’m saying is that if he did, it definitely wouldn’t have been categorized as rape.

            • Polar@lemmy.ca
              41·
              1 year ago

              You’re talking about a completely different thing.

              A violent boyfriend is completely unrelated to calling something that isn’t rape, rape.

              I also think if you get angry and physical at the person who slept with your girlfriend/boyfriend, you’re a douche. Violence solves nothing, but maybe blame the person who slept with you that had the boyfriend?

              Maybe in that situation the girl decides herself that she’s fully done with her boyfriend, and the relationship is over. You sleep with her, and then the next day she decides she wants to continue the relationship. How’s that your fault? She’s a grown adult that can make decisions for herself. In that situation, the girl is the shitty one, and the boyfriend should be fully mad at her, not at the guy she slept with. That’s insane.

              I also say this as someone who was cheated on. I never blamed the guy who she cheated with. She knew she was in a relationship with me. I’m not going to go hurt the guy because of a decision she made. He was shitty, but she didn’t say no, and he didn’t force her. I’m also not going to fucking hit her, like you seem to be implying happens lmao.

              So ya. Let’s normalize getting angry at the correct person. Normally I’d recommend getting your belongings back, blocking them, not speaking to them again, and finding someone new who respects you. It’s actually pretty easy, and doesn’t require physically harming anyone!

            • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
              11·
              1 year ago

              You seem to have gamed out a bunch of unlikely or purely pragmatic reasons why this behavior is not a good idea. I think it’s a lot simpler: it’s wrong to knowingly aid somebody in cheating. That’s enough reason not to do it; no need to speculate on whether her boyfriend will retaliate against you or (even more unlikely) whether she’ll falsely accuse you of rape later.

  • RHOPKINS13@kbin.social
    371·
    1 year ago

    Anon would be best off avoiding that girl at all costs. Dodged a bullet there. If she’s unhappy with the relationship she should break up first. Being willing to cheat is a big red herring. Guess who she’s going to cheat on next?

    And who knows who’s to blame for the relationship issues? Never stick your dick in crazy…

  • morphballganon@lemmy.world
    54·
    1 year ago

    Anon should suggest she tell her partner she wants to open the relationship. If he refuses, she has grounds to break up. If he accepts, anon could go for it. Win/win.