• XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You’re entitled to your opinion. I don’t see why I should respect people that don’t respect themselves.

        If I had a big fat arse due to eating ten cream cakes a day for ten years, I wouldn’t expect respect, I’d expect people to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”.

        Respect is to be earned, not simply expected.

        • irmoz@reddthat.com
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          1 year ago

          why I should respect people that don’t respect themselves

          Source for the lack of self respect? Or is that just your… opinion?

          I’d expect people to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”.

          Honestly, that sounds like no self respect to me. But what do I know?

          Respect is something you earn, not something you simply expect.

          Nope, expertise is something you earn. Respect should be expected.

          • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Respect should be expected

            I always felt weird when people would tell me respect is earned, since I give everyone I meet respect until they give me a reason not to. Glad to see I’m not the only one with that perception.

          • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            If someone thinks that they are respecting themselves by willfully making decisions that they know are terrible for their health, then I don know what to say, it’s not a concept that I think I could comprehend, but I’m willing to let you try changing my mind.

            Well it’s true, I know I have plenty of personal flaws, but I’m willing to take criticism of them. I’m not going to expect respect for doing fuck all about my personal problems and I don’t think anyone else should.

            Hard disagree. I respect people that put in hard work and effort towards achieving their goals, I don’t respect, nor do I have any time for pity parties. If you’re fat, that’s your problem, deal with it.

            • irmoz@reddthat.com
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              1 year ago

              If someone thinks that they are respecting themselves by willfully making decisions that they know are terrible for their health

              I’m gonna need you to point out someone saying this before I take this claim seriously.

              I know I have plenty of personal flaws, but I’m willing to take criticism of them.

              Unprompted criticism of your body is just bullying. Accepting that requires a lack of self respect.

              I’m not going to expect respect for doing fuck all about my personal problems and I don’t think anyone else should.

              You’re dragging the goalposts around and humping them, at this point. I didn’t say “respect for doing nothing.” Just… respect. The basic respect a human deserves for being human. Not getting on your knees, calling them lord, and complimenting their choices of fatty food. Just the bare minimum of not bullying them. Is that so hard?

              I respect people that put in hard work and effort towards achieving their goals

              Okay? But not every action is one to be judged on that criteria. Not everything is done to meet a goal. Just walking through town isn’t one of those things.

              I don’t respect pity parties.

              Who’s asking you to? Where’s the pity? Where’s the party?

              • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I think people deserve dignity, but that respect is something that’s earnt.

                If fat people don’t like being criticised for their bad choices and unhealthy, unattractive bodies, that’s really not my problem. If you hate that someone thinks you’re fat, lose some weight, is it really worth digging your heels in over to make a point about a lack of respect?

                • irmoz@reddthat.com
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                  1 year ago

                  Is it so hard to just not bully people? You don’t have to agree, you just have to not say anything. You’re the one dying on a hill, here.

                  • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    We have blurred lines between the ideas of a lack of respect and bullying.

                    It’s disrespectful to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”, but it’s not bullying unless it’s repetitive and used with the intent of hurting their feelings, bullying also implies an imbalance of power.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          The respect of not going in and talking shit on other people’s bodies absolutely is supposed to be simply expected. If I talked shit about other people’s bodies on the internet I wouldn’t expect respect, I’d expect T people to say “fuck, you’re a giant ass”

        • LogarithmicCamel@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          You’re a dick. You can say that about anything. You don’t own a house yet? That’s because of a string of poor decisions. You don’t respect yourself, otherwise you would have saved enough money. And then you’ll go, oh, but I am the one who has real problems, unlike those other fat people. Everyone who was more successful than you was lucky, everyone who was less successful was lazy. This is precisely what millionaires tell themselves to justify paying minimum wage. Those employees who accept working for this meager salary? No self respect, they deserve it.

          You? You are just a self-absorbed dick who can only see things from their own perspective and have no idea about other people’s problems.

          Written by someone who lost 70lb 15 years ago and didn’t gain it back. Did I suddenly acquire self-respect and discipline? Nope, just found a sustainable lifestyle that worked for me. Shocking, I know.

        • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          I think we might be using different definitions of respect. Respect as in “I want you to defer to me and do what I say” absolutely has to be earned. Respect as in “I don’t want you to shittalk people you’ve never met based on one arbitrarily selected criterion” is part of being a decent human being.

    • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Hey boss, I’ve been fat all my life. Was a thick baby, they almost had to break my shoulders to get my out. Part of my issue is my thyroid, the other is I’m a super taster and healthy shit tastes bitter and ungodly awful. As a kid I avoided it and continued being big and I’m almost 30. I’ve only briefly known what being skinny felt like after a strict diet I hated. I got severely depressed and buried my feelings in food. As a fat person losing weight again, I have no respect for you. You’re an entitled prick who had the fortune of a coping mechanism and biology that allowed you to probably grow up skinny and developed a lifestyle to keep you that way. It’s fucking hard to do that when you’re overweight or have biological obstacles.

      Sincerely, fuck off, from a fat person.

        • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Interesting response. You know there’s a good amount of people who are fat purely due to their thyroid or other medical issues? People who despite proper eating and exercise are doomed to gain weight anyway. No respect or sympathy for them I gather?

            • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              It seemed like a “Sorry for the medical issue but not everything else” kind of apology, so my mistake. Just hoping you end up not holding such disdain for fat people some day.

              • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                You weren’t mistaken. I was sorry for the one thing out of your control, the rest were your excuses.

                “I don’t like the taste of healthy foods”. So just eat less of the unhealthy foods, you don’t need to replace cookies with lettuce to lose weight, just eat one cookie instead of ten. You can control how many calories you eat regardless of how calorie dense the food is. Honestly, grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for yourself.

                Your depression eating sucks, but you’ve identified the issue. The only person who can stop you from over eating is you.

                • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Ah okay so you really were just being pedantic, that’s a shame. I didn’t say “I don’t like the taste of healthy foods” I said that I, as well as many others, are ‘supertasters’ which makes certain bitter chemicals in many healthy options much more noticable. Imagine, for a moment, everything you enjoy eating being more bitter or spicy than you like and you’re being told to eat it anyway or you won’t be respected by some guy online.

                  Lol I’m taking antidepressants, got an active job, and already said I was losing weight. I made those changes. But you do understand that your response to be a fucking asshole to people based on what they look like, knowing there are factors outside their control that can make them look like that, makes you just an insufferable piece of shit, yeah? That people as a whole would rather live among fat people than dicks like you?

                  Take your own advice. Grow the fuck up and get over yourself. Until then, what and who you respect will mean nothing to anyone. After all, you’re the dude who shits on fat people like he never left high school.

                  • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    I don’t think holding people to account for their unhealthy choices is equal to shitting on them, but offense is in the eye of the beholder.

                    I’m glad you’re successfully losing weight, keep it up!