I’ll be going overseas soon to visit and stay with my cousins for a few weeks. I’m fairly close to them and we get along well, so it’s not a problem interacting with them, as a generally shy and introverted person. However, I’ve absolutely no idea how to interact with their kids (3 and 7 years old). I’ve never been good with kids. I can’t make funny faces, speak “goo goo ga ga” nor play with them or entertain them in any fashion. I mean, I could try, but it’s just not in my nature, and it’ll come across as really fake and forced.
Mind you, I don’t hate kids, I just never interacted with them in any sort of extended fashion. I keep my distance from them and don’t want nothing to do with kids in general. I don’t find kids cute or funny or cuddly or anything of that sort, on the contrary, I find kids annoying and avoid them. I don’t care about them to the point that I won’t even ring my niblings and wish them a happy birthday, if I wasn’t forced to by my family (and I usually try and weasel out of it by coming up with some excuse).
In saying all that, the reason why I’m asking this question is because I don’t want them to grow up hating me or thinking of me like I’m that “weird uncle”, cause maybe in the future, when I become old, I may have to rely upon them for whatever reasons. Like if I look at myself now, I have a good relationship with my elderly aunts and uncles, and they rely upon me for various things - mostly technical help, but even just in general if I’m ever visiting them I help them out wherever I can. Plus I enjoy conversing with them and learning of their various life experiences. I would like to have a similar amicable relationship with my niblings when I grow old, but I can’t help think that I’m pushing them away due to my shy and introverted nature.
And as a reference, I have another cousin who’s the exact opposite of me: typical extrovert alpha male type. He treats his niblings as if they were his own kids, like he does the airplane with them, takes them out for treats or other fun outdoor activities etc etc, and actually has conversations with them. I mean, that’s all pretty cool I guess, but that’s just not me. I do not intend to be like that.
I guess what I’m after is, what’s the absolute minimal sort of interaction I can have with them, which won’t feel too forced or fake or in-your-face (like definitely no “goo goo ga ga” stuff please), whilst still keeping up appearances and making me come across as a “he’s a good uncle I guess, but just a bit quiet and shy” type of person? I’ve tried having “grown up” style small talk with them (like how’s your day going, or stuff about the weather) and obviously that didn’t work out too well. So I’d also appreciate stuff that I can talk to them about, like actual dialogues if possible, which won’t seem fake or forced coming out of me, a shy and introverted person.
Ask them what they like and let them ramble for the rest of the time.
Yeah unless the kid is super shy, it’s absurdly easy to talk to a kid. Getting them to stop talking to you is where things get hard…
Yeah, also my observation. Kids come in different varieties. So occasionally you’ll have a socially awkward one, introverted, or shy kid. But most kids are super open, easy to connect with / curious and like to talk nonstop.
I’ve made the mistake of asking kids what they like. I’ve been lectured about knights and castles, Lego Ninjago and heard some renarrations of current animated kids series and stories.
And kids that age are super easy to read. You’ll immediately see their reaction and they probably won’t hold back like adults do. But they’ll also ask lots of questions. So be prepared for that.
You also can just look around their room. See if they like Lego, Beyblades or whatever. They’ll probably love you if you play with them. Or express interest in what they like.
Just be cool with them. Engage with them or don’t. Tell them if you’d like to stop and do adult things. They should be able to empathize at a young age. And they won’t be difficult (deliberately) to people they do not know well.
If you don’t talk to them and don’t express particular interest in them, they will likely not bother you and find someone else to play with / talk to.