I am asking this question because the young adult in question, is me. I am to move out in a few years, and it feels impossible to move far away from my hometown (which I want). I have no idea how to juggle both finances, a job, and the move itself. With the global inflation going on, it feels impossible getting hold of a decent apartment to rent.
What advice would you give someone like me? What should I keep in mind and prepare* myself for? What are your experiences moving out, or moving away from your hometown? How long did the process take for you, and how did you manage keeping a job that paid all your taxes and rent? If you could look back and give younger you some advice, what would you tell them?
(If it provides any context, I am North European.)
Lots of advice here already, so I’ll mention one that is overlooked by a lot of people: learn to cook for yourself at home. You will save a lot of money and be more healthy in the process if you prepare your own meals.
Yes; my advice was going to be to get hold of one decent cooking pot and one decent chef’s knife and learn to cook.
Prepping my own food and being able to bulk cook meals for a few days to a few weeks ahead was a big advantage. Also helped me to get to know people and make friends.
You need a decent pot. And a knife you can maintain and sharpen. And to learn to cook.
@C4d @scytale It’s nice when people actually know how to take care of a knife. It’s WAY MORE IMPORTANT to know how to cook, shop, and plan meals, but there are two basic things you should know:
- Don’t drag the blade along the fucking cutting board! Stop it. Use the back (spine) instead when pushing food off
- Swipe it along the honing rod at a 15-30 degree angle every now and then when you notice it feeling sluggish or dull - look it up if you’re not sure
Came here to say. Learn to cook, learn to sew, learn basic plumbing and carpentry.
Sewing is good but basic plumbing and carpentry can wait until the OP is is a position to buy a home. Learning how to make your landlord do necessary repairs without getting evicted (and being aware that this may be impossible) is a more important skill for a tenant.
And learn what basic plumbing really is. The second you question whether you should be trying something you should probably stop and ring a pro.
Also to add, don’t attempt any electrical stuff beyond rewiring a plug. A mistake with plumbing would cost you a fair bit of money, a mistake with electricity costs your life.
Buy a plunger before you need it.
Is that a US thing? In my 45 years the only time I’ve experienced a clogged toilet was when my sister tried to flush a stuffed giraffe. The giraffe hadn’t even done anything wrong. Traumatized and wet, it survived.
Not a US thing, a risk/reward thing. Even if you only see a clogged toilet once every 10 years, to know you could have fixed it in 2 seconds if you owned a $10 thing vs letting it sit and stink up your house while you run to the store to get a plunger is not a risk worth taking. Even worse, maybe your family has normal sized poops, but a friend of yours doesn’t. They tend to clog up toilets more often than average. They might have a poop knife at home to break it up and allow it to flush more easily, but you don’t. Now they clogged your toilet while you have company over, and instead of being able to fix it themselves in 2 seconds, and they have to embarrassingly ask where your plunger is, and worse, if you don’t have one, you have to leave in the middle of your fancy dinner party to go get a plunger from the store.
It’s a one-time purchase of a trivial amount of money. It doesn’t take up much space and can sit behind your toilet. It will last for the rest of your life. Why would you not own one when you consider the alternative? The upside of owning one is massive, the downside of owning one is minimal. The upside of not owning one is minimal, the downside of not owning one is massive.
Just buy a plunger, if not for you, for your guests. I haven’t clogged my own toilet since I was a dumb kid and put printer paper down there. But my guests or my guests children may have.
don’t get cable tv
Find ways to take pleasure in activities that have 0 cost, and are social.
Exercise with friends in a public park. Develop good health.
Community events like public concerts and shows.
Walking around public galleries and free art museums.
Poverty feels like a trap when you are isolated. Break the isolation and it can be a formative and empowering period.
One I haven’t seen mentioned here is familiarize yourself with tenancy laws in the place you want to move to. It is always good to know your rights, and with landlords these days, you have to be as savvy as you can. A lot will come from experience, but knowing what they’re allowed to do or not do is priceless.
Make sure you have a towel. I say this as a guy who dried off after showers with an old tshirt the first week after I moved because I am a great planner.
Extend that to other less glamorous essentials. Think about the mundane things you use daily that blend into the background.
If you don’t need to for safety or sanity, don’t. Now is a bad time to try and set out on your own.
If you must move out from your parents, find someone to do it with, not a romantic partner but a platonic one that you can be good roommates with (maybe harder than finding a romantic partner lol). Going alone these days is near impossible unless you’re already well off me have a healthy safety net, something most people don’t have today.
Going alone these days is near impossible unless you’re already well off me have a healthy safety net, something most people don’t have today.
He’s from northern europe so the government most likely provides him a safety net. I’m also from northern europe and I had no problem moving on my own and start studying without any savings.
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Lots of good advice in this thread. My contributions are to say don’t move in with friends you aren’t willing to lose. I did it despite the warnings and it turned out terribly. I can’t say I regret it but depending on how the situation turns out for you it could range from losing someone youve been close to for most of your life to downright traumatic.
Don’t be afraid of renting rooms for a while (as a male, can’t say that’s a good idea for women or people in marginalized groups). It’s cheaper, less binding, and frees up some funds to develop other areas such as reliable transportation, good furniture, etc.
Take your time finding a place and be realistic with what you can afford. Being on your own is expensive and it’s important to make sure you’re moving somewhere you actually want to live and that will give you access to the things you need. Be it groceries, good job prospects, or education.
I’m from the US so I’m not sure how things are in your country but it’s rough out there. Take the time you have now to figure out a career field that you’d want to work in and that would provide the income for you to be financially independent. Immerse yourself in the culture and structure of that group. Find community pages, forums, websites and programs. Read it all and get an idea of what you’ll be getting yourself into. You may become aware of adjacent industries or specialties within that field that interest you more than the job you were originally thinking about.
Best of luck!
Learn the renters rights in your area, like commit it to memory, there are plenty of people who will take advantage of your inexperience or just think you won’t make a fuss if they do something illegal that harms you or refuse to give you your deposit/ect. When you get your lease, actually sit down and read it, save it to a google drive, be able to pull it up whenever. I can’t tell you the multitude of times its saved me, plus, if someone tells you you can’t have your deposit back for x,y,z, ask them for an itemized list of damages, in the us they must provide it, and every one that seems flimsy or is wrong, send them back that you “dispute this charge” and proof if you have it, take pics or HD video when you move in of everything
- know where the fire extinguisher is and how to use it
- ensure there are adequate and working smoke detectors. also carbon monoxide detectors if there is a risk from clothes dryers, etc.
- keep at least 2 gallons of bottled water per person stored at all times
- keep candles and matches in a location where you can find them in the dark
- keep a fully stocked first aid kit
- know where the nearest emergency room is and how to get there
be safe and well! :)
Bring a blanket from home. It’s good to have something to wrap yourself in when you’re lonely.
Also, as Judy Scheindler said, better to live in a cardboard box alone than a penthouse with roommates. If you can manage it, forgo roommates. They will screw you over. Try to pay 25% of income for rent, even if you have to take transit or commute.
Also, pay off all debt and save at least 25% of your wages if you can at all manage it. A little caution when young will be a huge benefit in just a few years.
Budget plan before you move out. Try to gauge what you realistically can expect to earn, write down all recurring expenses that you can already gauge, try to buy your own groceries for a few weeks just to get a feeling for what stuff actually costs and what you’ll need.
Realistically, the only item where you can actually move the needle is rent. So given the spreadsheet above, you can calculate how much you can spend on rent.
And do yourself a favor: don’t budget on edge unless you really really have to. It’s better to drive a few minutes longer each day, then to spend 10% more on rent. Washing machines break, bikes get stolen, etc
I learned all these lessons the hard way, they are not fun lessons to learn. You will kick yourself later if you also learn them the hard way. First, get a job, today. Work experience before it is necessary will make many many things much easier than hitting everything all at once. As someone else previously stated, make a REALISTIC budget. Realistically, you will likely be making minimum wage. You should also start paying for things yourself so you know the true costs.
You will likely need to stay in a cheap motel in the new city before anyone will give you a job there, and no one will give you a job there if you don’t have a place to live. Additionally, no one will let you rent there if you don’t have a job there. This means you will need to save about 3 months budget before moving into the seedy cheap motel in the new city (start now).
When looking for a place to rent, find one that you can afford by yourself, then get a roommate if desired. Having a place you can only afford with a roommate, and them then moving out, makes you homeless. If you always plan for the worst (and hope for the best), you won’t be caught with your pants down. Please note that generally the cheaper side of town is the more dangerous side of town. If you know anyone that lives there, ask them what parts of town to stay away from.
I’m unsure of how credit/history works in your country, but get a (singular, one, JUST ONE) credit card. Use it ONLY once a month and ALWAYS pay it off EVERY month. I was not that smart. Everyone told me that, and I didn’t listen. Now I’m still paying off debts over a decade later. If you don’t listen to anything else, please take this point to heart. $100 is not a lot to have, but it is a lot to owe. If you want something, save for it.
That said, don’t buy it as soon as you have enough, you need to keep a good chunk in your savings account for emergencies (car broke down, lost your job, getting evicted because your landlord wants to rent it for 3x the price, etc). You should have a minimum of one months expenses saved at all times. I would recommend 3 months worth, but I know how hard that is (still try though).
Start saving for a house and retirement as soon as possible. Put it in a bank/credit union that is easy to put money into, but hard to take it out of. Personally, I put it in a credit union that I can have my main bank send a check to, but can only get the money out in person, Monday through Thursday, from 10am to 4pm.
Learn to cook now. Learning to cook without a teacher is hard. Not knowing how to cook makes buying groceries hard.
Lastly, I don’t recommend a financial planner. They are not free. The person who suggested it brought up retirement, the fact is, no one has any idea what you will need for it by the time you are eligible. Look at any ~70 year span, and then look at the retirement retirements at each end. The only thing you can know about what it costs to retire is that it will be a lot more than what your parents need.
@Thanatos931 @clark Worth noting that all of this is dependent on housing being attainable. Here in Victoria, :canparrot: rent for a room is often $1000CAD - nobody gets their own place unless they work full time, and well above minimum wage.
Your best bet in this situation is to get a room in a house full of people you like being around, and stay there as long as possible. If you’ve got a place to yourself, stay there. If you can live healthily with your parents, stay there.
Wise of you to seek out advice and plan this far ahead. I’ve moved many times and have learned a thing or two.
First, savings. Don’t minimize them. It’s always crucial to live within your means and have cash set aside. Everything costs more than you think. The move, the new place, the getting settled into a new place. Jobs may not work out. Bottom line, do whatever you can to have some savings and quickly replenish it if you have to dig in.
Second, housing and transportation. Usually the two biggest out of pocket costs. Moving to a new area means you don’t know exactly where you want to live or what commutes are tolerable and where is worth living. So find something you’re comfortable with, but don’t overspend or get too committed. I love being close to work so I don’t have a long commute and will take a much smaller place to do so. I also don’t like living with roommates, so I often cut back transit costs and other expenses to live alone. If you don’t mind living with others, you can save a lot of money. But do not be house or car poor. See the first point.
Third, furnishings and getting settled in. It will take time. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to create a picture-perfect home or have a big groups of friends right away. These things take time, especially to be done well. Cover your household basics (a good mattress is a worthwhile investment) then keep an eye out for second hand goods to get things started. Try to expand your horizons and join local groups or clubs to make some friends with similar interests. If you notice red flags, pay attention to them. Sometimes nasty people cling onto newcomers and can cause you unnecessary stress/problems. Seek out worthwhile relationships and nurture them instead.
Moving to a new places is one of the most exciting and frightening things you can do. But as long as you avoid getting your bank account too close to zero and take your time while putting in effort to live like a local, it can be absolutely amazing. I’ve lived in different countries, met people from vastly different cultures, lived on entirely different cuisine, and simply had some of the most mind and soul-expanding adventures in new areas. I’ve also missed my home, my family, friends I left behind, things I gave up, and more. But the reality is that all the material stuff will come and go, the time with family and friends should be cherished but not limit your life, and at the end of the day, you are the one in charge of your destiny. It’s up to you and you alone to figure out where to live and what to do to discover happiness. Just make sure to give yourself a fighting chance. Don’t go broke. And avoid abusing anything. Moderation and variety.
I write too much. Good luck!
