I started dating my Boyfriend in January 2022. He is an amazing guy, nerdy, sweet, loving, cuddly, soft, with a big heart. I love him a lot.
However, his mom was a monster.
I’m not in the mood to write a long detail post about all what I witnessed in the first year of our relationship, but his mom was horrible to him. Trying to isolate him, a verbal and psychological abuser, a perpetual victim, a gaslighter, an extremely codependent person, who is incapable of taking care of herself, but also bites the hand that feeds her, every single time. Not only she was absolutely useless, but also would berate my BF for any or no reason.
She was also a cigarrate addict, she would never stop smoking, sometimes at their home, there would be almost nothing to eat, but she would use her last coins to get at least 2 cigarettes.
After months of trying to convince him to move out and leave her, he finally did, I paid for a truck and movers, and we took all of his things out while she was at her workplace. That was in January of this year. He moved to an unused house owned by his uncle (his dad’s brother).
Life in his new place has been mostly peaceful, my boyfriend went NC and only got updates about his mom from the neighbors.
In these last weeks her health has gotten worse, and he got harassment by his mom’s family (they live in another state) but he stayed firm, because all the sympathy he had for his mom drained a long while ago.
This week something in her stomach broke, the walls of the stomach broke because she was taking too much medication. She needed an emergency surgery. The harassment from the mom’s family got worse, but he was just done with them, and blocked them all.
Today, it was confirmed that she died. We just don’t care, it is good that we will never hear about her again, and won’t bother us. One of my BF’s uncles, who is a very good lawyer, will take care of all the legals, so my BF don’t have to do nothing. If there is a funeral, he won’t go. We doesn’t want anything to do with anything.
My BF can join Jennette in the club of people who are glad their mom died. I’m glad we can have absolute peace.
So funny, she said that my BF wouldn’t be able to live without her, but she didn’t even last a year living on her own.
Somewhat similar. My grandmother (mother’s mother,) was not a good person. Racist, rude, cheated on my grandfather, threatened my mother to not tell when she got caught. I could go on and on. But when she got several strokes she could not live on her own. My uncle berated my mom for eventually sticking her in a home, he of course lives in a different town and didn’t do shit to assist. I never went to her funeral. She was a vile person before the strokes. I met her once after and that’s the only time I heard her laugh, she was mentally like a kid again. Sad to see what she could have been. Anyways, don’t let people try to make you feel guilty for not enabling terrible behaviour. They made their choices and they’ve had a lifetime to learn to be decent people. They chose not to.
Yeah, my Bf’s mom side of the family never came to help her at all, and when he left they didn’t like it so tried to emotionally bully him into go back and take care of his mom. It’s always the ones who life far away and never help the ones who has the most opinions.
And yeah, they chose to keep being assholes til death instead of try to change.
It’s a good thing he was able to save himself from that toxic situation. And having already moved out, he won’t have to deal with cleaning out that toxic house. He may still have moments of grief, because children often love their unloving parents, and those memories return unbidden, and I hope you’ll support him through them. But if he doesn’t, that’s on her, not him.
As someone who had a similarly abusive childhood, good for your boyfriend. Bet you’re a large part of why he had the strength to hold firm. I’m proud of you both!
Thanks, and yeah, I motivated him a lot to move out and helped him realize how toxic she really was.
