• NevermindNoMind@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    They could just break it or break your windows.

    This is why you need backup measures. For example, if they break in through my windows, they’ll be foiled by the micromachines I placed strategically on the floor. If they break through the door, they’ll have to contend with the blowtorch I have rigged just inside the entryway. Always remember, “this is my house, I have to defend it.”

    • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What if you’re in another city that your uncle happens to live in and his house is being renovated, would you still be able to defend it?

    • settoloki@lemmy.one
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      1 year ago

      If they manage to get past that, you should attach a paint can to some rope and have it rigged to swing towards them if they are coming up the stairs.

      • lemmylommy@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Just leave some Lego on the ground. Perfectly legal, yet instantly lethal to anyone who steps on it.

        • Dandroid@dandroid.app
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          1 year ago

          instantly lethal to anyone who steps on it

          I like to pretend the afterlife is like a big AA meeting or group therapy session where people have conversations about how they died.

          “So how did you die?”

          “Oh, I broke into someone’s house. The bastard left Legos everywhere. I tried my best to avoid them all, but it was so dark that I missed a dark blue 1x1 brick. It shattered every bone in my leg like tempered glass. The sudden collapse from pain and losing all structural integrity in my leg caused me to fall on the remaining Legos. A green plate sliced my jugular. The last thing I remember as things were going dark was a dark figure approaching. It was holding a Lego Millennium Falcon above its head as if it was going to throw it full-force against my skull. The next thing I knew, I was here.”