• stebo02
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    1 year ago

    I respect people who […] manage to control themselves

    That’s such a weird thing to say though.

    Imagine you are in love with someone but they are not interested. Do you take pride in the fact you didn’t rape/groom them because you “managed to control yourself”?

    We’re not animals. Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial for any decent human being.

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial

      Maybe it should be, but is it actually trivial? Addiction in general is a real thing, isn’t it? For someone with say an eating disorder, maintaining a healthy diet isn’t trivial at all. Paraphilias are different morally where they involve harming others and not just yourself and so it’s more important to not act on them, but I’m not sure that means it’s easier for a person with a paraphilia than it is for other sorts of people struggling with controlling their behavior.

      IMO what it comes down to isn’t whether these people deserve sympathy though, the more important consideration is preventing abuse. To me what the OP image shows is that the “just kill 'em all” attitude is unhelpful bullshit leading to pedophiles and abusers hiding in plain sight. What would be better is a conditionally supportive community that knows what they are and keeps tabs on them well enough to make sure they stay away from kids.

      • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        Feeling sexually attracted is not the same as addiction. If it starts to feel like withdrawal from addiction you have something else going on as well (for example an actual sex addiction). Additionally, pedophiles aren’t necessarily exclusively attracted to children.

        I do think they should have access to mental health care and they obviously shouldn’t be incarcerated or threatened with death. But having respect for them for not abusing children is taking it way too far.

        I also don’t respect serial killers for every day they don’t murder someone, I don’t respect racists for every person they pass without punching them, etc.

      • magnetosphere @beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Thank you. Your response is better than mine would have been. I especially like what you have to say about the “‘just kill ‘em all’ attitude “.

    • arefx@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I get what you are saying but I think it’s probably easier in general for people in normal relationships because even if they get rejected, they have an opportunity to form a relationship with someone else. Someone attracted to minors never gets that chance. They aren’t allowed (for good reason) to even try.

      Obviously pedophilia isnt a great thing and pedophiles who abuse children should be punished severely, but I don’t think it’s a choice to be born attracted to minors. So it’s unfortunate for them. Definitely not an easy topic.

    • ContentConsumer9999@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Welp, it’s clear these aren’t mentally well people so something that’s just expected from normal people can be an achievement for them.

        • hglman@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          That doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve help. Suppression isn’t a solution. It’s a way for people to pretend its all ok.

            • scaramantulatte@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              You are jumping to a lot of wild conclusions and making some bold assumptions in your argument. I don’t really wanna take a stance on this one way or the other as I have no idea what is the mindset of these people, but just reading thru this, your comment sticks out as you have all the answers and everything is either black or white. I dislike your conjecturing attitude.

            • ContentConsumer9999@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              Replace “pedophile” with “rapist” in your arguments and ask yourself whether what you’re saying is convincing.

              Welp, I’d much rather live in a world where people that have thoughts of rape are encouraged to go to therapy and work through it than one where they all just keep themselves in check.

              I’m not saying pedophiles don’t have agency in the matter or something. I’m saying we should try to cure them before they hurt people.

            • callouscomic@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              I wish you the best in overcoming the hurt and anger in your life that is showing here.

        • ContentConsumer9999@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          I’m not saying what they do should be excused. I’m just saying they very well should be respected for keeping themselves in check.

        • magnetosphere @beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          I didn’t read that comment as excusing a crime. I read it as stating that self control, which is normal for us, is an achievement for pedophiles.

      • stebo02
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        1 year ago

        what mental gymnastics did you perform to jump to that conclusion?