I take Ritalin 10mg on a needs basis since I generally have functioned ‘alright’ into adulthood.
Just took one to get some work done today and it still amazes me how normal I feel about doing work once I’m medicated. Like there’s no massive hurdle to even starting. No massive reluctance and task paralysis to fight.
Coming from a whole week where I’ve been procrastinating on whatever isn’t urgent, suddenly it’s so easy to just… do.
I also get incredibly chatty (hence the post, lol), but yeah. I can’t imagine how life changing it must be for people who struggle even worse with executive dysfunction.
I agree. Society was not built upon accomodating the neurodivergent, and we’ve had to struggle a lot as a result. I’ve also thought about it a lot as well, so there’s nothing wrong with that.
I spent a lot of time growing up wondering why I wasn’t “normal”, like everyone else. I grew up unable to socialise well with my peers and unable to keep up academically with the demands of my academic environment. I was always struggling to stay awake in class, or focus on a subject I desperately needed to learn. I had to drop out of the sciences because I was struggling horribly and my teacher treated me quite badly for my lack of ability to keep up.
I wonder now if I could’ve done better if my parents were aware of ADHD and had gotten me the help I very desperately needed, because my mother is still in denial to this day that I’m anything but normal, only lazy, selfish and inconsiderate. I was called a lot of horrible things because of things I couldn’t control. I developed depression, but frequent therapy and counseling as of late has reduced how intense the mood swings are.
So, given a choice, I likely would’ve wished to be more normal in my own eyes.
When I went into university and met incredibly accepting and loving people, I really thrived. It’s just sad that many like us have to struggle undiagnosed for such a long time, only to realise that with medication, managing our shortcomings would have been made so much more achievable.
I still spend a lot of my time unmedicated because I’ve come to accept and love myself, including the ADHD diagnosis that I got on my own last year. The diagnosis helped me find mechanisms that actually work for me, and I’m better off for that.
I am no less of a person in my own eyes, but the judgement of a society is a lot of weight to bear.
I’m sorry you had to go through that and it’s hard to not think of the what ifs, but I’ve done to realise that we can’t do anything about them so it’s not conducive to being happy.
I do feel like society is more accepting these days of people’s differences, at least in my experience and line of work.
Yeah the medication for all it’s pros has it’s cons too. I take methylphenidate XL 36mg. Which is the time released one which lasts all day. But I sweat so much now. I can be sat at my desk and feel literal drops hitting my side from my pits (eek) and thus I always wear a hoodie.
It has also wrecked what little appetite I ever had. Like I never really got the idea of food and I ate to survive, but now I even that is hard at times. I have resorted to taking medication earlier now though so we will see if that improves.
I guess you have to weight the pros and cons and see what works for you.