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No.321134310

>girifriend is being a cunt

>pretty much over the relationship

>want to dump her in a creative way

>need ideas

Alright. supervillains. Let’s see how dastardly you really are.

tldr wanna dump gf like a boss. Gimme ideas

No. 321143242

Ok, so here’s what you do: get a ring-box and get a reservation at the fanciest restaurant you can afford. Propose to her in the most romantic way possible, then open the box and give her the ring

Now, when you’re in church and about to get married, the priest will ask if anyone has any objections, look around if someone wants to say something. If no one reacts, keep silent as well.

When you’re like 30, knock her up. Get like 3-4 kids and a house somewhere in the suburbs, along with a good job. When your kids are old enough, like 10 years, take her to Hawaii. Do a romantic picnic on the beach, and again, pull out a ring-box. Ask her it she wants to renew your vows, and do it right there and then with a priest hired beforehand.

After your kids leave the house, retire and travel around with her a lot. Take her to Brazil or South Africa or something. Heck, buy a boat. Then later, if needed, go to a retirement home.

Now, and this is key, when you’re dying, have her sit next to your bed and hold her hand. And here’s the trick: with your last breath you should whisper "I love you, then die.

Oh I’m sorry, did you want me to help you break up with her?

WELL FUCK YOU I’M ALL ALONE SO GO COMPLAIN TO SOMEONE WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS