• Xtallll@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    69·
    11 months ago

    They have a very different view of what constitutes an unsafe space, for the last day or so every time I saw a username with pronouns my whole body would tighten up anticipating some randomly aggressive attack post. I hate that they made me feel that way about something that should be good. I will not miss them.

    • First Majestic Comet@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      36·
      11 months ago

      One of them made a post on Egg_irl with Astolfo which seems to be almost saying that they think Femboys and GNC are just trans girls in denial. Really didn’t sit well with me since I know that that kind of think is very hurtful to Femboys and has been very hurtful to me as well as an Agender.

        • First Majestic Comet@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          9·
          11 months ago

          Edit: hexbear is currently down so I can’t, I’ll remove the post as soon as hexbear comes back online

          I just looked and Hexbear seems to be back up but they now have a blocked list and lemmy.blahaj.zone is on it. Seems they defederated from us.

          Edit 2: hexbear is still not coming back up so I’ll report the post on this account and ask the mods to delete it, sorry for any discomfort I caused you

          All is forgiven 😉

        • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
          4·
          11 months ago

          OH whew thank you, I thought it was just my VPN that had gotten blocked. I wasn’t able to see any of the hexbear links.

        • Lols [they/them]@lemm.eeEnglish
          3·
          11 months ago

          iirc, deleting the post from hexbear would not have done anything, defederation affects any interaction with blahaj

      • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
        41·
        11 months ago

        I had a blahaj person make a similar response to a message of mine a few weeks ago, before hexbear was even on the radar. I just rolled my eyes and may have sent some sort of “wow, what a dumb take” response or something.

  • WotNTarnation@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    51·
    11 months ago

    I could not be more relieved.

    On the one hand, it sucks that there is a rift between communities who seem to have genuine care for LGBTQ issues. However, through the past day, being exposed to Hexbear’s community and content has made me extremely concerned.

    Hexbear’s server content is full of great big red flags. Even a brief skim through some top posts and comments showed a lot of content I found alarming. There are posts denying genocide, calls to violence, blatant Russian propaganda, apologists galore for authoritarianism, and the constant assurance that anyone not agreeing with these ideas was obviously a Fascist. And this was all wrapped in what I can only describe as a weird layer of smug superiority - that they are the only ones who “get it”. I don’t have a high opinion of any community that seems to think having the a word like “tankie” applied to them is problematic while accepting the previously mentioned content as okay. To make matters worse, a lot of Hexbear user’s I’ve seen in other communities posting, it is often antagonistic if not just straight-up trolling. I just don’t see the value in any of this.

    I just wish we had become defederated sooner and not been exposed to a community that seems to be so rife with arrogant, extremist trolls that are hell-bent on stirring up drama.

  • audiomodder@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    43·
    11 months ago

    I think the fact that they’re fully defederating over accusations against a single community instead of just blocking that community is telling.

        • NuMetalAlchemist@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          23·
          11 months ago

          Nope. And especially in this instance as it is directly refutes the praise that the op was giving. Sorry, programming won’t let me keep quiet on hypocrisy.

        • vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          7·
          11 months ago

          I’m not sad about the outcome (it definitely helps me not getting too horny on main;) but the parallel is not completely unwarranted.

          I hope we learned from the nsfw fiasco, as I hope they learned from the 196 fiasco.

  • KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    43·
    11 months ago

    Damn, I’m not one for drama but Holy shit their comments on that thread are fucked up, they seem like a really toxic and unhealthy bunch of people.

    We’re generally better off without extremists who’s only defense to anything they don’t like is attacking others and badmouthing them.

    It really shows their general character and maturity levels.

    Also, it seems like there are a lot of other instances asking mods for defederation due to toxicity.

    • BlahajChompies@feddit.deEnglish
      18·
      11 months ago

      Yeah, the comments are bad, I clicked on the link out of curiosity. I think I got my weekly dose of online slurs for the week.

      Also an interesting “safe space”. A “safe space” to be unhinged in which names you call others that don’t agree with you and been cheered on for doing so.

        • Moss@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          14·
          11 months ago

          What chaser things have I defended?? I’m trans I don’t see how I could be a chaser and I don’t even know what I could do to earn the title. It seems like this post was never brought to our attention, because we check every report we receive and remove the ones that should be removed. What we don’t check, however, is every post as we do not have the mod numbers for that. We can only see what you guys bring to our attention through reports.

          • hypelightfly@kbin.social
            7·
            11 months ago

            They’re referring to the screenshot of a post where you said a user’s comment about who they are attracted to was not transphobic and to stop reporting it.

            IIRC, at the time it lead to the thread being removed due to other transphobic comments. When asked Ada clarified that the comment hexbear is complaining about as being a chaser was not the reason for this post:

            https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/1246514

            • Moss@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              15·
              11 months ago

              Yeah neither of us viewed the comment as a problem. There was a bunch of stuff surrounding it, and the user did end up getting some stuff removed, and I did end up having to delete the thread, but none of that was due to the original comment

            • Moss@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              24·
              11 months ago

              Oh yeah I remember this whole fiasco. The argument was literally just attraction to body types/features versus attraction to genders. This person was expressing that they’re only attracted to archetypaly “female” body features but are open to dating any one of any gender identity. The whole fight is basically just people thinking that they’re fetishizing trans men when they’re just expressing that well they’re fine with dating someone with a masculine identity, they don’t think it would work if the person wasn’t comfortable in a feminine body. I don’t really want to get into this again, but there’s nothing wrong with that in it of itself.

                • Moss@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                  18·
                  11 months ago

                  Seriously! I’m transfem, have been for years, 2 years on hormones, but I have no problem with my voice. Let it be masculine! Who the fuck cares. It doesn’t matter! Lot of trans people feel similar ways about different things

            • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
              17·
              11 months ago

              Hi, that was me (on my kbin account). That’s a quote pulled out of context. It was just a response to a direct question about whether I personally was attracted to trans men. It’s not a fetishization.

                • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
                  16·
                  11 months ago

                  That’s why I said it probably wouldn’t work. Most trans people would feel uncomfortable in that situation, so of course we wouldn’t pursue a relationship.

                  I did know someone (casually, did not date) who was a pre-transition trans man who wasn’t terribly bothered by letting cis men enjoy his boobs, which is why I brought up that specific scenario. I don’t know if he dated cis men, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I also assume that if he did, then the relationship would probably stay pretty casual with a planned end date of whenever he started physically transitioning.

                  There’s also a reason Moss - and most people, including Ada - were frustrated enough with the reports to publicly say “this is not transphobia”. Because it’s not, and some people are too quick to be triggered.

    • alycat@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      14·
      11 months ago

      People are so caught up with hating hexbear users that the whole 196 mod drama is probably going to be overlooked. I’m waiting to see the statement from our instance mods before deciding if this place is really for me

      • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneMEnglish
        24·
        11 months ago

        What sort of statement? Except for the ableist comments that occurred last night when I was sleeping, everything else in that post had been actively addressed long before hexbear was on the scene.

        The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.

        • alycat@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
          8·
          11 months ago

          Thank you for addressing that.

          I was expecting a statement about mod integrity on 196 and Moss leaking DMs to start drama, but after sleeping on it I think that some of the issues raised by HB are somewhat disingenuous (e.g. the transphobia cited). I still have concerns about the maturity of the 196 mod team though.

          For what it’s worth, this whole situation just shows how good of an admin you are. For that I don’t think I’m leaving

        • Leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          7·
          11 months ago

          The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.

          Thank you :)

      • 5ubieee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        10·
        11 months ago

        if that screenshot of the mod log isn’t leaving out important context then this looks pretty bad, hexbear users aren’t alone in seeing a decent amount of reactionary language and talking points here in the past few weeks. in all fairness tho most of it probably isn’t intentional

  • SamPond@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    35·
    11 months ago

    Perfect outcome, they get to feel superior despite doing nothing - which is their only goal - and we get to clean their mess.

  • vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    28·
    11 months ago

    Thank fuck. I was getting really tired of people picking fights everywhere over dumb shit.

  • Breadman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    15·
    11 months ago

    Lol. For a group of people regularly defending genocide and calling for people to get the wall, they sure are easily offended. I wonder if this distortion of facts, and trying to gaslight us is due to some sort of mass psychosis or plain narcissism.

    • vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      10·
      11 months ago

      Moderation decisions are often contentious, especially when communities are as idiosyncratic as 196. The thing to do is first to cool off a bit, then to have a dialogue, first with the other users involved in the thread and then possibly with the mods.

      That’s not the path this gentleman took. No, he charged into the meta community calling the mod ableist, racist and a chaser enabler and demanding his removal. That’s just not how we do things here. That path only leads to more acrimony.

      This is bad, but then it got a lot worse. He whipped his entire instance into a huge frenzy, leading to dogpiling and defederation.

      These guys are simply not able to work through disagreements in a productive manner. And they create disagreements for sport.

      So yes, moderation on 196 could be better. I’m sure they learned a lesson from this. But everything that happened after the initial mod decision rested squarely on the shoulders of Nakoichi and the admins of hexbear.