Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right community to ask this, but I got yelled at by my mom today for not having a job and I thought it might be worthwhile asking what sort of strategy I should pursue from a community of people with skills I would like to develop. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science from a mid-tier state university in the US before the pandemic, but didn’t really do anything to develop my portfolio. I had good grades and got two interviews for software engineer positions, but didn’t get the job in either case. I didn’t really care too much. I was still an enby egg and everything felt off, so I never looked very hard. When the pandemic happened, it made finding a position out of the question because my parents are high risk. Unfortunately, I have had trouble developing a portfolio. I don’t know if my education is lacking or I missed something or it is my ADHD or I am just not talented and got fooled into thinking I was okay by grade inflation, but I could never focus for long enough to figure out anyone’s project and make a contribution. I did a bit of Cracking the Coding Interview, but got bored a chapter or two in and haven’t gone back to it in a while. So I guess specifically my questions are:
- Am I correct in trusting the common advice to contribute to open source projects to build a portfolio?
- If so, how do you figure out how to gauge your skill level so that you pick the right projects to contribute to? 2a. How long does it take you to get up to speed on a new project before you feel comfortable contributing? How long did it take before your first job?
- Am I correct in thinking that any credit I get from employers from having a CS degree is strongly outweighed by 5 years of not having a job and no contributions?
- Should I consider looking into the resources I (and my mom) have heard about offering autistic people help getting into technical fields? I don’t think my autism is that bad, and I’m not particularly talented either, so I’d dismissed these for the most part.
- How do I avoid positions that don’t either build my skills or lead to a career?
- I am prescribed and taking medicine for ADHD. Is there anything I can do beyond that? My mom has talked about hiring a “life coach,” but it has always sounded like a good way to spend money for no benefit.
- How do I motivate myself when I’m probably mediocre and will be treated like shit if I “succeed?”
- Am I thinking about this all wrong somehow?
- What are the best resources for someone in my position? Despite how it may sound, I am willing to put a fair bit of effort into self-improvement, it has just been spread far too thin because of the ADHD.
I can only contribute to some of your questions, but happy to answer what I can.
I think the portfolio thing is highly dependent on what industry you’re looking to be part of. I’m a hiring manager in aerospace and “portfolio” really means nothing to me - I look at grades and internships for new grads and employment history for industry hires. It probably means a lot more in industries that I’m not familiar with, probably including commercial tech.
The problem you’d present for me is that, at least at my company, a “college hire” is someone who graduated in the last two years tops, so you wouldn’t fit my college hire requisitions, but you have no experience to fit an industry requisition. Philosophically, though, I’d have no issue with your story if you explained it the way you did here: graduation, COVID, at risk parents, etc.
I don’t know what your situation is or if you need a paycheck right away, but one thing you might consider is going back for a masters degree, either CS or something adjacent like computer engineering. Then you become a new grad again and the story looks even more fine: all of the above, then you wanted to get a job but were concerned about your skills being rusty or whatever so went back for your MS. Plus you get the opportunity to get more self confidence again.
You’re clearly pretty hard on yourself and I hope you can find a way to cut yourself some slack. Do the best you can, forgive yourself for past mistakes, recognize that you’re as deserving of love and success as anyone else, remember that most of us suffer from imposter syndrome, at least from time to time (including me and I’ve been working for 38 years), etc.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Thank you for the quick advice. I remember seeing something similar to the two years you’d mentioned when I was applying. The MS route scares me a bit because the CS degree itself is a second bachelors and I could imagine rationalizing pursuing more education because I’m scared of how the workforce would treat me. But I remember meeting a few people doing a Masters program for that reason, so could see taking that path if necessary.
Well, good luck for sure. CS majors are still in high demand and across a lot of industries - I’m sure you’re land on your feet if you keep at it.