I’m (19F by the way, not like 50) a bad texter. I can be not dry when I want to be, but usually I’m just not up for texting. I really don’t engage with my friends. (I’m asocial).
I don’t participate in their activities. I don’t really ask them how they are, or what their interests are. I don’t even engage in deep discussion with them unless I’m up for it.
When my friend sends a video that reminded her of me or that she finds funny, I don’t click it and just ignore it.
Maybe my friends are growing apart and they text me less because of this, but I’m kind of okay with that because I know they will be there for me when I need it and because I’m genuinely just tired/bored most of the time.
One time, my friend asked me if I’d like to spend time with her, and I just point-blank said “No”. IDK if that’s rude just because I’m being honest and also because it’s not personal, I don’t want to engage with anyone.
What don’t you like about most people?
I have ADHD too and exhibit some narcissistic tendencies and I find that I don’t like socialising when I’m tired, struggling to not obsess over a new hobby (like playing a new game, I need to make a conscious effort to see friends and stuff), or just burnt out.
I like to think that I have a social battery and if I don’t charge that up then I’ll be like this.
You should pay particular attention to how I said make a conscious effort to see friends. As friendship is a two way relationship and you have to put effort into them.
It could also be that you have the wrong friend group, unlikely, but possible. I’ve come to realise ghat all my friends of decades, are selfish and don’t make the same considerations as I do when thinking about them. Time keeping for instance. If I was going to pick up a friend I would be on time and I would message them to come out once I’m 1 min away. Whereas my friends will be late, not update me on time scales and tell me to come out when they’re still 10 minutes away. Meaning that they’re not really thinking about my needs and weighing them against their own, and rather are just thinking of themselves.