I’m going to be 35 and nothing changes my life has been a boring slow downward spiral. Sometimes I welcome death to take me but unless it’s a heart attack I don’t see that happening anytime soon. And I don’t feel like ending myself.

Still sexless, loveless with literary no friends and with a temp job that I dislike. I just drift in this world, I guess I could be worse, living under a bridge, but I still live with my mother and uncle, sleeping in a minuscule room shared with my uncle (he’s another “loser” like me in his late 40s non married living with his sister, my mom). I’m sure y’all heard this before, life is unfair, and it’s true, and I’m sure some other people out there are doing worse than me and are better “fighters” in life. But I’m not them, I’ll never be them, it’s not in me being that type of person.

Btw I’m not saying this just to get a response from you and I don’t need a “happy birthday” reply… If anything that would piss me off more due being insincere, you are not my family and you don’t care about me in the slightest (and rightfully so). But I just needed to say this to ease my pain.

Now maybe you can understand why I welcome the reaper, maybe you can tell me if you’re in a similar situation.

  • Asafum@feddit.nl
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    20 hours ago

    I can definitely relate to a lot of that. I’m in a similar position in some of those areas, but one thing I can say for sure is that people don’t need to be family or even acquaintances to care about each other.

    Just knowing you’re out there and in pain is enough for me to hope things improve for you. I may not know you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about someones suffering coming to an end.

    I definitely understand the not wanting to live bit as well. I’m only still here because I’m lucky enough to have a family that would be upset if I did anything to myself so I’m just waiting until my older family members pass on. Hopefully you find something that makes that desire go away as well. I can’t say it helps me in the moment, but it is true regardless that none of us can see the future so you never know what might happen to change things down the line.